Friends losing the Stoke... Its hard to watch, ideas?

alafiaboarder

My best friend Ryan, who i live with, is going through some pretty tough sh*t right now and I can see he is losing his interest in wakeboarding. I am going to go ahead and say he is my favorite rider to watch because he goes just as big as any pro and has more style than a majority of the ridin i've seen in the video's i watch. He learns so many different variations of grabs, spins, and inverts effortlessly and strives to make it look as good as possible. We just sit and talk about different ways to edge, cut, trip, throw, or grab to make it look different and original. His idea's are outrageous but he goes out and does exactly what he was trying to.

The past few months have been really hard on him due to his dad's struggle with a very serious sickness... cancer. I don't know the full extent of it but i know he has a brain tumor, cancer in his stomach, and just recently had to undergo surgery to replace part of his right hip and the bones in his legs among others. This happened due to a large amount of cancer inside of his bones in his leg that weakened it to the point where it all snapped when he turned wrong while walking. I've never in my life heard about somebody screaming for hours on end due to the pain. This man is the strongest person i've met and he wouldnt never complain about anything hurting yet you can hear in the tone of his voice the pain he went through then. He has trouble talking about it. He is getting worse and i pray every second of my day for him to get better, but it's just not getting much better. He has become a second dad to me and i do anything and everything for this family. We're not sure how much longer he will be around but i think in my head he will never leave us but i know cancer has its own opinion on that. I have seen him get better only to find out he is becoming sicker and it just tears me apart seeing my best friend hear this and have to go through it.

My friend is now saying how he doesnt see wakeboarding taking him anywhere in life or where he needs to be. He is talkin about quitting to go get a job and work all week to pay for stuff and get his own place instead of wasting all his money in gas yet we live on a lake with everything we could ever want to get in life. He says he doesn't have passion for the sport yet he would wake up before the sun came up to clean the boat before we road and get out earlier than anybody just to have the first set on the lake. He would make me get up just so we would beat the fishermen out there. He would watch no movie unless it was a wakeboard video. The only thing that mattered was shredding and everything around it. The water was practically heaven on earth. Wakeboarding is how i straightened my life out. It helps me relax. It relieves my mind of the stress we come about daily. The same was with him. Whenever something bad happened, we would ride. Life would be better. I now see him losing the stoke and not wanting to ride and i just see him becoming more upset and depressed about his family and its showin in his riding. He just gets upset and mad about little things and its hard to see a friend change like that.

So if anybody has gone through the same situation as him or has anything at all that could help me talk to him and help me to explain to him to stick with it and really keep workin at it enjoyin it like he always has, please say anything. Life isnt fair and people are taken away from us everyday. For that reason right there, I think its soo important to really stand behind something you love cause you never know when it can or will be taken away. Sorry for the long post but i guess i just needed to say it somewhere and am hopeful somebody might have an idea that would work. Thanks alot everybody.

alafiaboarder · Posted: Jul 07, 2007 10:21 pm Post subject:

and its 230 AM, im tired, so if my spellin sucks or grammar is kinda crappy, my bad, i'll check it out later, peace

HHI Dave · Posted: Jul 08, 2007 12:59 am Post subject:

Sorry to hear about your friend and his father's illness. I suppose the only advice I can give is to be as supportive of your friend as possible and recognize that people change and their priorities change as well. I wish you guys the best.

Dragonlady8 · Black Widow Joined: 27 Aug 2004 Posts: 9198

It's never easy to watch someone/anyone that you've once admired, fall apart and look at life from a different perspective.

Like HHI Dave stated, just be supportive friend.
You need to realize that wakeboarding is not the most important thing in his life at this moment in time.

alafiaboarder · Posted: Jul 08, 2007 7:41 am Post subject:

i do realize that, and im really supportive of everything he does, i just don't want to see him quit because its really the only thing that makes him happy... even if its just riding once a week or a few times, i can't just let him quit. His parents don't want him to either. They are really supportive about it even during the hard stuff thats going on. I think he's gettin upset because he isn't seeing immediate results... but i think i'm going to make him ride in a few tournaments and see what happens and maybe that can spark his competitive edge back... cuz he definately has one of those haha... thanks guys

Goodhands · Outlaw Joined: 25 Aug 2005 Posts: 136 City: Murfreesboro

Great Idea, just be sure and give him some space. Pressure is flat out annoying sometimes not that I'm saying you would just watch what ya say. And it's great your careing for him like he's your brother thats the way to be.

jjaszkow · Posted: Jul 08, 2007 4:12 pm Post subject:

He's under a lot of pressure right now. These sort of events can definately change a person's perspective on life. The best you can do is be there for him.

--cresko-- · Soul Rider Joined: 03 Dec 2006 Posts: 496

i guess what is meant to happen will....it sucks, but give him time. Im sure he'll start again.

nickl011 · Posted: Jul 08, 2007 4:49 pm Post subject:

--cresko--, agreed

Justin 25 · Addict Joined: 29 Aug 2006 Posts: 797

I agree with everybody else, he really just needs you to be supportive, but he also needs you to give him some space at times.

Craig-R · Guest

or you could just be a bad friend and force him to continue wakeboarding for personal gain

david-d · Guest

i agree with my friend craig... don't let him throw away being a good wakeboarder just to be emo

alafiaboarder · Posted: Jul 10, 2007 6:19 am Post subject:

my dad went through a pretty bad time with skin cancer so i know how i felt and what i wish i had when i was going through that with my family so im not gonna push it but i know that its what takes stress away and he's starting to relax a little more and do all of the normal stuff we do so he's gettin back on track with everything. He said that it all happened so fast and he wasnt used to doing so much for his parents and having to work and all the dumb stuff that happens with some friends when they go away for college. said a few of his friends told him to stop boardin and get a job which is dumb cuz u can do both... so he's wantin to shred again, video soon

alafiaboarder · Posted: Jul 10, 2007 6:24 am Post subject:

and you nailed it right on the head craig, the only reason i want him to ride is for my personal gain... Rolling Eyes

stompin7s · Posted: Jul 10, 2007 7:01 am Post subject:

get him a wakeskate

Dees · Posted: Jul 10, 2007 11:16 am Post subject:

Have him bring is dad out and so they can do something together. He could watch is son and the dad would be proud of him. And he would be proud his dad is there watching. That would up lift both of them I think.