great quote

Jim M · Wakeboarder.com Freak Joined: 17 Jan 2003 Posts: 2933

"When a cat is dropped, it ALWAYS lands on its feet; and when toast is dropped, it ALWAYS lands with the buttered side down. Therefore, I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat. When dropped, the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground, probably into eternity. A buttered-cat array could replace pneumatic tires on cars and trucks, and giant buttered-cat arrays could easily allow a high-speed monorail to link between New York with Chicago."

ohsix · Posted: May 04, 2003 7:02 pm Post subject:

actually that's not true. i don't think a dead cat would land on its feet.

JHrod · Wakeboarder.com Freak Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 3144

so it would be like the tires on your car-replace every 50,00 miles

Jello John · Wakeboarder.Commie Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 1936

What if you buttered both sides of the toast? The cat would then become unnecessary. No need to worry about dead cats then. Idea

JHrod · Wakeboarder.com Freak Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 3144

jj u r a true genious-the next albert einstein

ohsix · Posted: May 04, 2003 7:11 pm Post subject:

jj- you have a good point. but if both sides were buttered there wouldbe such a great amount of gravitational force on the bread that it would plummet straight through the earth's crust to the center.

Premier135Chick · Guest

dead cats and buttered toast-what a combination

JHrod · Wakeboarder.com Freak Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 3144

wait a sec...the dual buttered bread or bread cat combo cannot work-they would counter react thus landing on their sides not hovering in an uncontrollable rotation

Jello John · Wakeboarder.Commie Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 1936

You have to butter the crust too. It has to be an equal coating around the entire piece.

Actually, I have no fricking clue what I'm talking about. Question

ohsix · Posted: May 04, 2003 7:19 pm Post subject:

yeah, screw it, i'm just gonna keep using tires.

Snow Skate Wake · Outlaw Joined: 14 Feb 2003 Posts: 124

That's an animal rights case just waiting to happen. Although maybe we could prove that cats don't have feelings....

Jello John · Wakeboarder.Commie Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 1936

Cats don't feel pain.

Premier135Chick · Guest

If cats don't feel pain, then why do they meow when you do this?

Jello John · Wakeboarder.Commie Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 1936

Haha...because..."Actually, I have no fricking clue what I'm talking about."

criminally_minded · Posted: May 04, 2003 8:21 pm Post subject:

You guys are wrong..... if you buttered both sides of the toast, wouldn't it then be happy to fall down on either side?

In the original cat/toast theory, the buttered side would have to be DOWN, as in stuck to the cats back. Stop me if I'm wrong.

Oh yes, I can see creamy/crunchy quickly being overtaken by this mighty juggernaut Mr. Green

Jello John · Wakeboarder.Commie Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 1936

No..the toast would become frustrated as one buttered side would be down but the other would be up. The only real way to please the toast is to eat it so it doesn't have to deal with such problems.

criminally_minded · Posted: May 04, 2003 8:34 pm Post subject:

The question you have to ask is:

Is the buttered side attracted to the ground, or is the unbuttered side repelled from the ground?

Only if the later is true will this theory work.

Just eat the damn toast, spread it with cat jam.

Jello John · Wakeboarder.Commie Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 1936

Or both.

criminally_minded · Posted: May 04, 2003 8:39 pm Post subject:

True.

Jello John · Wakeboarder.Commie Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 1936

Cat jam sounds quite good.

criminally_minded · Posted: May 04, 2003 8:48 pm Post subject:

Mmmmmmm.... Got mincer?

Mariognarly · Addict Joined: 14 Jan 2003 Posts: 853

Would the toast not land exactly on its end, assuming you spread equal amounts of butter on each side of the toast, and the toast would be under such gravitational pressure that it would collapse end onto end?

ohsix · Posted: May 04, 2003 9:01 pm Post subject:

actually the reason buttered toast lands buttered side down is because gravity accelerates the heavier side, being the buttered side, towards the ground faster causing a twisting motion and the distance buttered toast is usually dropped from is only enough to let it rotate enough to land on the buttered side. now if you increase the distance to say 7 feet and push the buttered toast off the edge of an object it might land buttered side up. but if you dropped it off the empire state building the wind resistance would cause the toast to fall almost perpendicular to the ground but lean just a little toward the buttered (heavier) side therefore it would land buttered side down.

criminally_minded · Posted: May 04, 2003 9:09 pm Post subject:

Dude, it was proven YEARS ago that heavier objects don't fall faster than lighter objects.

I mean HUNDREDS of years ago Mr. Green

Only wind resistance would affect it, but that is something you would have to ask Otto and Swass about, as they have already had a debate over fluid dynamics, they would eat this up! (with cat jam)

Premier135Chick · Guest

and buttered toast

ohsix · Posted: May 04, 2003 9:19 pm Post subject:

you're right. not sure what i was thinkin. Embarassed

okay i have 3 pieces of bread i got from the dude across the hall and no butter so im going to have to use mustard. i can drop the bread from a 1st story window, a 2nd story window, and a 3rd story window. which way do you guess the bread will land from each window?

ohsix · Posted: May 04, 2003 9:28 pm Post subject:

okay the experiment is done and the results are in... i dropped the pieces of bread mustard side down, mustard side up, and perpendicular to the ground from each window. i lied about the first story though. their is a door there so i didnt drop from the 1st story. keep in mind this is white sliced bread with mustard on one side.

which way do you guess the bread landed from each window?

Premier135Chick · Guest

My roommate moved out today and took her toaster with her so I can't perform the experiment myself! Crying or Very sad

ohsix · Posted: May 04, 2003 9:34 pm Post subject:

mine wasnt toasted. it was just bread. i dont think it would make much of a difference if it was toasted though.

i'll just have to remember not to step in the mustard on the sidewalk tomorrow morning.

well i've got 2 finals tomorrow and since no one has guessed yet and im about to go to bed i'll just have to wait until tomorrow afternoon to post the results.

Mullet Man · Outlaw Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Posts: 132 City: SoCal

What if you ace the bread and just butter the entire cat? Then could you achieve said hover? I am a bread and toast rights activist so i have a problem with using either for anything except a meal. The cats however, you can do what you like with them. The lady next door to me has three cats which I am going to get in a second. I will butter one completely, Butter one partialy, and do nothing with the third. What do you think will happen when I drop them from my 2 story roof? I will post the results a little later.

wviveen · Addict Joined: 03 Mar 2003 Posts: 705 City: Loosdrecht

Where are the results of both tests (the mustard tests and the test from MM)?
I can`t wait to see the results. Mr. Green

Jello John · Wakeboarder.Commie Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 1936

Hmm...does it even matter? The results will be flawed anyway.

criminally_minded · Posted: May 05, 2003 4:07 pm Post subject:

I think some people are confused.... putting butter all over the cat would ATTRACT it to the ground. It is the unbuttered side of the toast which repels from the ground, remember?

DaveBrowning · Posted: May 05, 2003 4:10 pm Post subject:

Well I tested the buttered toast thing by putting butter over every inch of the toast and then dropped it... it hit the floor with "slap" sound. Total waste of butter and toast. Rolling Eyes

Jello John · Wakeboarder.Commie Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 1936

You have to put the butter on the feet of the cat. You might have to use a match or lighter to toast the cat's paws first though.