Understanding women -SOLVED

jason_ssr · Posted: Mar 21, 2003 8:43 am Post subject: Understanding women -SOLVED

Every now and then I see post come up about dating, and understanding the opposite sex. So, I thought I would drop a little knowledge on you folks as I have successfully found some answers.

Fellas, it has been said on here before that all women are psychotic. This is true. So then what do we look for in a woman if they all suffer from multiple personality syndrome? Well, if you looking for a woman that isn’t psycho, then you will die a lonely man. In fact I’m here to tell you that their multiple personality is the only thing that makes us tolerate them. We NEED them to be this way!

Let me explain, you see, every mans expectation of a woman entails having this personality shift, so instead of thwarting it we must learn to embrace it. For example, every man wants his woman to be a lady in public and a pornstar in private. These are two different personalities. Obviously if they were only one of these, either the public or private time would suffer. You don’t want reserved in private or sluttish in public.

So the key to finding the perfect woman for you is not finding one that isn’t psycho, but finding one who can use the right personality at the right time.

Ladies, we concede to your psychotic behavior. All we ask is that you follow a few simple guidelines so that we may live in peace together. The key is to use the right personality at the right time. I will touch on a few of my favorites with some quick do’s and don’ts:

Personality- “lady”- This one is good in public situations. It also plays good for you because it keeps you treated like one. Very good “go to” personality if unsure of which one to use.

Personality- “pornstar”- This one is the absolute greatest in private. This is what makes all of your other crap seem worthwhile. Do not use this one in public or around my friends.

Personality- “Bltc#”- This one like the others needs it time to shine. However, try to use your alone time to let this one fly. Maybe in the car on the way to work or around the house while I’m out. Also great to use when other guys hit on you.

Fellas feel free to add to this list….

So Fellas, the key is not to look for sanity, rather look for control.

Ladies, learn control and the world is your playground.

JG

jt09 · Ladies Man Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 22083 City: Austin

Very nice explanation Jason!!! They are all crazy, it is just a matter of how much and when. Stay away from the ones who are WAY crazy and hang with the ones who know when to morph.

Helps to learn what makes them morph too.....mine has issues with tequila, so margarita lunches USED to be cool...

jumalian · Ladies Man Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 7625 City: san diego

How to keep your woman happy and totally into you...

Keep her away from phantom!

JK phantom!!!

J_DOGG · Posted: Mar 21, 2003 9:50 am Post subject:

SO Phantom is a lady killer?
They make special shoes for guys like him, they are made from concrete....LOL..

PEACE

Neognosis · Ladies Man Joined: 13 Jan 2003 Posts: 17617 City: Webster

I agree, MOSTLY. I like when my wife is a "lady" in public, but when it's just me and my friends, I like when she lets a little "pornstar" get out. Nothing gets your 30 something friends, who married lame women, jealous better than having your hot wife show some cleavage and talk about how she's in the mood to, um, "Lewinski" you when you get home.

See, a lot of my friends married women who won't even do that anymore. Plus, my wife just gave me the green light to spend money on a new boat. I'm the luckiest guy in the world.

***NOTE: She still is a psycho. She's just psycho in a way that melds real good with the way I'm a psycho. That's the key. Ever watch "Dharma and Greg", or "King of Queens?" My wife is a crazy combination of Dharma and Carrie, from those two shows. Looks just like Carrie, too. Who wouldn't love THAT psyco combo?

Jester · Posted: Mar 21, 2003 2:19 pm Post subject:

This is a hopeless uphill battle, it's like trying to run up an icy hill in tennis shoes. Although this is a good guide, it's still useless for this reason: that 2nd X chromosome makes women CRAZY.

That means although they know that they're being irrational or overly-sensitive they don't care & they expect you to understand. Have fun with that.

Dragonlady8 · Guest

Phantom5815 is no lady killer. She just happens to love the boys. The only problem is that many of the boys are just stupid ( ie jumalian). Cool

Been around the boys too long to know what they're all about. I happen to know why boys act the way they do.....something alot of the boys here aren't willing to admit
And to my fan club ...ie Funkdaddy, Dees and Craig and a few other boys, know the type of person I really am. Twisted Evil

devo · Posted: Mar 21, 2003 4:56 pm Post subject: Problem solved

This is what it takes to keep women and men happy.

jumalian · Ladies Man Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 7625 City: san diego

I rest my case.

bigboobwakechick · Posted: Mar 21, 2003 8:38 pm Post subject:

B-rad · Posted: Mar 24, 2003 7:14 am Post subject:

Like I have said in the past. Chicks are crazy, guys are stupid and once you figure out how to tollerate the craziness you can get back to being stupid. I think the key is to find one that is just not too crazy. I know that's hard to find and even harder to keep, but it might just work.