Wednesdays Jokes

Grouch · Posted: Mar 12, 2003 8:13 am Post subject: Wednesdays Jokes

GOOD OLD-FASHIONED BLONDE JOKE:

Returning home from work, a blonde is shocked to find her house
burglarized. She telephones the police, and a nearby K-9 unit is the first
to respond. As the officer and dog approach the house, the woman storms out onto the porch and shouts, "I get robbed, I call the police for help, and they send me a blind cop?"

Grouch · Posted: Mar 12, 2003 8:15 am Post subject:

THE BOY ON THE FARM

A little boy came down to breakfast. Since he lived on a farm, his mother
asked if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry
cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any
milk in my cereal?" he asks.

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any
eggs. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon, either. I also
saw you kick the cow, so you aren't getting any milk this morning."
Just about then, his father comes down for breakfast, and he kicks the cat
as he's walking into the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother
with a smile, and says, "Are you going to tell him, or should I?"

Laughing

Grouch · Posted: Mar 12, 2003 8:16 am Post subject:

HOW GOOD IS YOUR MEDICAL PLAN?

A medical student decided to study sexual dysfunction as his specialty. On
his first day in the hospital, the chief doctor decided to show him around
and to start teaching his new student about this area of medicine. As part
of the training, the chief doctor decided to bring the student around to
all the patients in his wing so the student could see firsthand some of
the diseases.

The doctor opened the first patient's door and the student was stunned to
see the patient masturbating The doctor explained that this patient had a
rare sexual dysfunction that if he didn't have an orgasm every five minutes, he would go into traumatic shock. The chief doctor proceeded to show the medical student different patients and carefully explained each problem so the student would understand well.

Finally they came upon another room and when the doctor opened the door, the student was shocked to see a nurse performing oral sex on the patient. Confused, the student asked, "What disease does this man have?" "Oh," said the doctor, "He has the same problem as the first patient, he just has a better health plan."