How to avoid a speeding ticket.

Grouch · Posted: Mar 03, 2003 4:24 pm Post subject: How to avoid a speeding ticket.

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. It was revoked when I got my 5th DWI.

Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his Captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the Captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.

Captain: Whose car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration. The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!

Chales · Guest

smooth

DaveBrowning · Posted: Mar 03, 2003 4:42 pm Post subject:

YEAH...

Just don't speed in the first place... REALLY DUMB POST GROUCH!! (my dad's a cop) Laughing

wake152 · Posted: Mar 03, 2003 4:43 pm Post subject:

ha ha ill give anyone a dollar that will try that

Nor*Cal · Ladies Man Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 9479 City: Sac

Wake send me a dollar while you're at it...

Grouch · Posted: Mar 03, 2003 4:47 pm Post subject:

DaveBrowning, These ones are for you than:

How to Annoy Cops

Say out loud when he/she approaches you "You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?"

Ask to see his gun.

When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.

Say out loud "Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!"

Slap his hand and say "Bad cop! No donut!"

When he frisks you, say "You missed a spot", and grin.

After every other sentence oink like a pig quietly to yourself but loud enough for him to hear you.

Refer to him by his first name.

When he comes up to the car, say "License and registration, please" right when he says it.

DaveBrowning · Posted: Mar 03, 2003 4:49 pm Post subject:

AAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Laughing

That's hilarious!

Grouch · Posted: Mar 03, 2003 4:50 pm Post subject:

DaveBrowning,

Do you ever ask your dad those questions? Very Happy

Nor*Cal · Ladies Man Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 9479 City: Sac

Everytime I've been pulled over I get a ticket... Sarcasm doesn't go to far with the CHP.

DaveBrowning · Posted: Mar 03, 2003 4:53 pm Post subject:

Nope... never asked him that. Don't plan to either. Especially the frisking one! Laughing

x2xwakegurlx2x · Guest

has your dad had any thing like that ever happen, like when he pulls someone over, or any interesting cop stories? or is he not allowed to to tell you that kind of stuff

DaveBrowning · Posted: Mar 03, 2003 5:01 pm Post subject:

He's like never had to shoot at anyone... never been shot at... he was on cops one time!!! It was really cool. He went out in the woods and helped find the boys who did the Westside shooting. He got dragged by a car about one hundred feet... long story... can't tell either. (it's confidential) Laughing

x2xwakegurlx2x · Guest

of course, i have seen some crazy stuff on those cop chases on the craziest police chases, some funny ones also

DaveBrowning · Posted: Mar 03, 2003 5:04 pm Post subject:

IT WASN'T WILDEST POLICE CHASES!!! IT WAS COPS... GET IT RIGHT!!! Laughing

x2xwakegurlx2x · Guest

i no i no, i wasnt talkin about that, i was tlaking about what i saw

DaveBrowning · Posted: Mar 03, 2003 5:15 pm Post subject:

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure!! Laughing

x2xwakegurlx2x · Guest

ok, you win Rolling Eyes

DaveBrowning · Posted: Mar 03, 2003 5:19 pm Post subject:

Really!!? Cuz I was gonna let you win after your next post. Sad

x2xwakegurlx2x · Guest

ooo ok, well then...i take it back, you didnt win Laughing

DaveBrowning · Posted: Mar 03, 2003 5:22 pm Post subject:

Oh man wake... you win!! Mad

x2xwakegurlx2x · Guest

yay

thanx, lol.......poor thread, off topic just so fast....again

DaveBrowning · Posted: Mar 03, 2003 5:26 pm Post subject:

You following me again!! lol... j/k Yeah... well topics that start off with jokes always end up off topic halfway thru the first page! Laughing

x2xwakegurlx2x · Guest

true true, nope, not this time Laughing

DaveBrowning · Posted: Mar 03, 2003 5:31 pm Post subject:

You sure 'bout that wake? Cuz uh... YOU WANT ME DON'T YOU!!? Laughing

DaveBrowning · Posted: Mar 03, 2003 5:34 pm Post subject:

WAKE!!! You broke 400... way to go!! Laughing

Liquid_Force · Posted: Mar 03, 2003 6:18 pm Post subject:

holy thats great..lol

x2xwakegurlx2x · Guest

ooo cool, i didnt even notice, thanx, lol, its the greatest accomplishment i had all day... jk, damn dave, you figured it out, i wanted you for soooooo long, but shhh dont tell anyone! Wink

DaveBrowning · Posted: Mar 03, 2003 7:06 pm Post subject:

alright babe... i won't! Wink

w$r az style · Soul Rider Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 384 City: Arizona

thats crazy though.

nick e[V]ans · Posted: Mar 04, 2003 12:25 am Post subject:

grouch that second one was Bubb Rubb hilarious man, i seriously was laughing out loud and i couldn't stop. that was awesome

J_DOGG · Posted: Mar 04, 2003 4:45 am Post subject:

I always YES Sir. , NO Sir. them to death.... they love that specially when they are younger than you....I have not had a speeding ticket for a while but basically every time I get pulled over I get one and every one I get I fight to the bitter end even if I was wrong... Use the court system in your favor, some times the cop wont even show up, or the judge will toss the case cuz he knows the cop is a prick that pulls people over for stupid stuff all the time....

COPS are not always right... in fact my step farther who was a cop in our town for over 36 years was the biggest hillbilly I ever knew...

PEACE

Dees · Posted: Mar 04, 2003 6:39 am Post subject:

BCB33 has been pulled over 30 times and only gotten 2 tickets