Monday humor

[MadDog]

Well, I thought everyone could use a little joke on Monday, so here goes -

Driving through Kansas a guy sees a sign in a yard that says: "Talking dog for sale ... please go to back yard " The guy goes to the back yard and sees an old black mutt.
Guy: "Are you the talking dog??"
Dog : "yep ... that'd be me ... it's been a great life too ... I discovered this gift as a pup and it has taken me all over the world ... I worked for the Govt ... the CIA placed me in foreign state houses, embassies and the like ... I was a top spy for 9 years running ... gathered lots of top secret information ... but all the jetting around was getting to me and I wanted to settle down ... I came back to the States and took a job with National Airport Security ... I would just sit by shady looking characters ... I uncovered all sorts of things from drug deals to terrorist plots ... I have been decorated many times with medals and honors ... meanwhile! I got married to a sweet little bitch and had me a mess of pups ... they are grown and gone now ... sadly, none of them can talk ... the bitch took off one night and I haven't seen her since ... I am retired now and just taking it easy ... sure has been quite a life.

The guy is speechless ... goes to the back door
Guy: (hollering through screen) "How much you want for this dog??"
Owner: (from inside the house) "Ten dollars"
Guy : "but this dog is amazing ... why would you sell him so cheap??"
Owner: "Cause he's such a liar ... he didn't do any of that stuff!!"