Experiences hanging out at the dock for an hour....

Neognosis · Ladies Man Joined: 13 Jan 2003 Posts: 17617 City: Webster

So, we went riding on tuesday, but it was the first 90+ degree day, so the launch was chock full of people, and it took my friend an hour to get up to the ramp.

While he was waiting, I went down to the dock and watched a whole bunch of people come in and out on their boats. Here are some observations and comments:

1- I saw a guy with a 1997 Chris Craft that looked like it haden't been waxed or buffed out EVER. Hey, if you own a 50K boat, even if you got it used, and it was once blue, don't let it sit in the sun unprotected to the point where the color turns Chalk-baby-blue. Idiot. Also, take the burger king bags out of the cockpit. YOu look like a tool.

2- To the geriatric crew on the pontoon boat, yea, you 9 know who you are. When your boat came in too fast, and I got up and ran over to keep you from crashing into the dock, why did you wave me off? I could see that you don't give a sh@t about your pontoon, as it looked like it had never seen a bottle of vinyl protectant, and I think there was sealife living in the algae at your water line, but that dock and the gas pumps on it belong to someone else. Don't slam into them at 5mph.

3- Freak-show with the Baja- hey, we are all impressed with your above-water exhaust. However, no wake means NO WAKE. It doesn't mean go slow so that the wake is HUGE. Even though the geriatrics didn't seem to care that thier pontoon got slammed into the dock again, the guy in the little bayliner (which, ironically, was pristine) got pretty upset. Jackass.

4- Four-Winns guy, if you are dropping the hammer and the boat doesn't seem to be going fast, even though the engine is SCREAMING, don't repeatedly drop the hammer. You have weeds on your prop. If you just keep hammering at it, you are going to break something. Try backing the weeds off first.

5- Bombardier jet-boat guy, after you fill up, and you are waiting for your girl to come out from the snack bar, pull your boat up and away from the pump. Those people in the boat behind you were waiting to fill up. THey were too polite to ask you to move. But don't hog pump space if you aren't fillling up, and there are others around who want to use the pumps.

6- Bass-boat sparkly paint-job guy- Hey, it was probably that kids first boat, and one of his first times launching it. He could use some friendly advise on backing up, not being called names and told to "hurry up."
I don't think you noticed, because you are too stupid, but yelling at him just made him more nervous, and caused him to make mistakes that ultimately caused him to need more time. You look like you smelled so bad, the fish would run away anyway, so what's your hurry?

7- to the dude in the older chapparel, your boat was awesome. It looked like a little 18 footer, 135 horse engine. Probably all you could afford. Though I could see that it was old, it looked well taken care of, was clean, and you seemed genuinely proud of it. Don't let little-penis-big-baja man make you feel bad about your ride. He's the tool, not you.

I love people watching, and I love watching boats come and go. You can learn a lot about people by their boats, I think.

actiondcpd · Posted: Jun 10, 2004 8:11 am Post subject:

Man I tell you what. We got to lake shasta on Sunday night before labor day and dropped our boat and tied up. Come monday morning when everyone was leaving and we were waiting for our houseboat we sat on this huge deck with a cooler and watched the mayhem. I've never seen so many houseboats hit each other or the shore. That and the people loading stuff up on the boat ramp with others trying to back their trailers into the water... captial "T" on trying too. Some intersting things you see on the by the launch.

holiday13 · Soul Rider Joined: 03 Jun 2004 Posts: 325 City: Flemington

That and in anchor coves, at our lake there is one cove that stays calm and on the weekends is packed solid with boats partying, I have seen everything from a couple kids in a 1970s flat bottom 14'er with what must have been 15 car batteries and a $5000 stereo to a woman dancing on another boat who obviously kept looking for a pole to keep her balance (f you know what I mean Mr. Green

)

i36hyperlite · Posted: Jun 10, 2004 8:51 am Post subject:

i love the 30+ foot 100k power boats that come out to lake pleasant...and one guy does all the work to load/unload/trailer etc and takes 40 minutes. given it is nice and he should take care of it...someone else HAS to know how to park a trailer. and the use of 30 bumpers just to let 3 people get on the boat amuses me too

i think wakeboarders are the only ones who know how to get it done. you never see a wakeboard boat tied up to the dock at the ramp or have bumpers tied all over the place...we get in, we get out, we ride.

its awesome
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Bowen · Posted: Jun 10, 2004 10:50 am Post subject:

I was out this last weekend and when we were coming in to put the boat on the trailer, this idiot was taking up the whole ramp. There is more than enough room for two trailers on the ramp, but this guy backs over halfway down the ramp (about 10 feet from the water), stops, then decides to get his boat ready to launch! We were to polite to say anything 'cause it looked like their first time out, but COME ON! My brother ended up pulling the trailer down anyway and manuvering it so it was partially on the grass next to the ramp, but while he was doing that these peoples dog ran out and sat so my brother almost ran over it!, then all they could say was "Don't worry about her, she's been out here plenty of times, she knows whats going on." Apparently it wasn't their first time out.

FatBoy · Outlaw Joined: 27 Feb 2004 Posts: 143

The ones I like are the idots that pull out of the ramp and stop in between the signs that say no parking between these signs. They sit there and look at you like your stupid for pulling up behind them. You can't pull up far enough to get your boat turned so you can back it down. I asked a guy to move up so I could put my boat in last weekend and he just gave me a stupid look and took another 5 minutes to strap his pc. of s#@t bayliner boat down.

Freakin Moron.

tryan · Soul Rider Joined: 06 Feb 2003 Posts: 257

i quit using the 'public' ramp years ago, but will it always have good entertainment value. last year a guy was trying to load an oversized jet ski with his trailer tires just touching the water. i almost crapped in my pants when he got enough thrust to land it in the back of his truck. pretty cool. Cool

chavez · RIP MHL 04/25/1958 - 01/11/2006

cameraboy, that easily is one of your best posts. Cool

If anyone is ever bored and has no boat, just grab a 12'er and a lawn chair, and go hang out at your local launch ramp. You will be provided with hours of cheap entertainment, plus you will probably be drunk, so its a win-win! Mr. Green

jbelson · Posted: Jun 10, 2004 2:35 pm Post subject:

Yeah, we've all seen the dunderheads on the ramp, but how about when we've been that guy?

Last season, first day out, my GF gets the trailer from the lot, but as she's pulling out she clips a pole with the fender and bends it so it's scraping the trailer tire. So after she sheepishly tells me whats happening, I'm the guy on the ramp with a borrowed sledge hammer, banging away at the fender so I wont ruin the tire once the boat is on the trailer. You could hear that hammer echo half way across the lake. Everyone was looking at me like you guys were looking at those people in your posts.

My gf has since become excelent at backing the trailer up. lucky me Very Happy

CHiLi DaWg · Posted: Jun 10, 2004 3:02 pm Post subject:

chavez-y-chavez, I agree, that made me laugh. Laughing

BTW our ramp got held up for an hour once because some guy left his truck in neutral and lost it in the lake. At least his boat wasn't attached.

And lets not forget the Noob jet skiers that did a circle around our boat, in the no wake zone, while we were heading for the trailer Evil or Very Mad

Then they went right up to shore and did a little spin. I saw the churned up sand. Wonder how much got sucked thru their cooling system?

jryoung · Ladies Man Joined: 19 Mar 2004 Posts: 7664 City: Man Jose

cameraboy, that post is F'n great, anyone who has ever been to a public launch knows the deal, hours of laughter unless you are waiting to launch or trailer up. I tried thinking of some of the stories I remember. I think I have seen marriages end at the ramp. Husbands too domineering to let their wife do anything and/or wifes that are too dumb to hold a rope or afraid of being beaten. I don't understand why it is such a difficult task, I guess it is like the "slow traffic keep right" rule when driving, no one seems to get it except a few. My favorite is when there is family launching the boat but the father does everything, because he feels he needs to instead of teaching everyone how to participate. Backs the truck, unhooks the winch, tries to walk it towards the dock, then jumping on the dock to tie it up "THROW ME THE GODDAMN ROPE" he says, meanwhile his truck is still blocking the ramp. "Should I start the engine" the wife says "NO!, LET ME DO IT YOU'LL JUST BREAK IT, IT'S NOT LIKE STARTING A CAR". The kids are getting more and more excited as they are about to embark "SIT DOWN, NOW, DON'T GET UP UNTIL I SAY SO" he demands "WHERE THE HELL ARE THERE LIFE JACKETS, CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING" as the wife cowers. People still waiting to launch he finally moves his truck although the boat is too close to the ramp to allow another to launch. The people in line wait patiently witnessing the events of this man lashing out at his family. Of course he can't find a spot to park so his boat sits, and sits, people ask the wife to move the boat so others can launch "I don't know how to drive the boat, my husband won't let me" she apologizes. Finally after a total of 27 minutes from first backing down the ramp the husband arrives and the family is off for hopefully a fun and safe day of boating.

bigonboatin · Newbie Joined: 11 Apr 2004 Posts: 41 City: spring lake

i cant beleve that man! thats f-ed up

dmac · Addict Joined: 22 Jul 2003 Posts: 728 City: 405 be-otch

this thread is funny, no where close to "who's the hottest girl on the boat" thread so im gonna head over there. har har har

Nor*Cal · Ladies Man Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 9479 City: Sac

Alan C · Soul Rider Joined: 26 Jan 2004 Posts: 329 City: Calgary

hahaha... this is awesome... i have a cabin right on the lake and we have our own boat launch so i dont have to deal with all that crap... im lucky Very Happy

XXX STAR · Posted: Jun 10, 2004 8:47 pm Post subject:

Lets just say that on the fourth of July I dont go to watch the fireworks. It gets pretty exciting watching all the drunks load their boats. I dont think us laughing at them from the sideline helps either

salmon_tacos · Posted: Jun 11, 2004 6:40 am Post subject:

KurtInCincy · Addict Joined: 06 Mar 2003 Posts: 645 City: Cincinnati OH

Whenever i can't get 2 people to go with me to ride i take my lawn chair to the local state park public ramp. I'm glad you guys find it as entertaining as i do.

Memorial day weekend Saturday this old early 1970's primer colored F150 that couldn't have been worth $400 backs down the ramp with a brand new Triton bass boat. I look at it funny because who would spend that much on a boat but have such a crappy truck? 2 chicks jump out and neither of them looked like carpet munchers and i was a bit suprised at that so i kept watching. 1 of them couldn't figure out how to operate the latch on the winch to get the boat unhooked. So i walked over and helped them and they were on their way. I was back at the same ramp on Monday and the same truck pulls up and the chick jumps out and yells down to me on the dock "Hey i remember you you helped me on Saturday!" As she's putting her boat in this time she's telling me how she just got divorced and got her husbands bass boat. She procededs to introduce me to her brother who was with her this time. She thanks me again and invites me to go for a ride with the two of them. I'm like "umm, thanks but i don't have enough time to stay around tonight." That would have been pretty akward but at least my self image got a boost for trying to be picked up by a redneck chick!

Nor*Cal · Ladies Man Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 9479 City: Sac

MrBlean · Posted: Jun 13, 2004 2:41 am Post subject:

Hey Kurt, did you not think to get her name and number so you could pm them to me. Darn it, you slipped up there big-time!

Maybe she got the house, pension and helicopter too! Never judge a book by its cover.....

colefooter · Posted: Jun 13, 2004 6:46 am Post subject:

Wow, thats weird. I live on a smaller lake in ohio, so out boat ramp thing doesn't get crowded. But we still got tubers and junk err..

89comp · Posted: Jun 13, 2004 8:33 am Post subject:

Personally I'm a fan of boat ramps that have 3 lanes b/c usually only one is used at a time.

Like last week, there was a dude who was using the center lane. He is perfectly in the lane so I back in next to him since there is a whole lane worth of space. As soon as I get out of my truck to launch the boat, he looks at me like, "WTF?!" and that I shouldn't have backed into next to him. Backing a trailer isn't that hard!

I think someone could make a living at boat ramps like these just backing people's rig up for them.

freerider4 · Posted: Jun 13, 2004 8:42 am Post subject:

Man I wish I could see some of the stuff around here like that most people at the ramps have a good idea of what they are doing it's the guys in the ciggarette boats that are the real idiots.

SupraBoarder · Posted: Jun 13, 2004 5:18 pm Post subject:

gus_jd · Outlaw Joined: 18 Aug 2003 Posts: 140 City: Milwaukee, WI

Isn't this post the truth... I've been boating for almost 15 years, so I've seen some pretty amazing things at the ramp.

My GF is new to the whole routine, and I told her that she's going to learn and make mistakes with my current boat rather than the next one. So I'm giving her lots of responsibility, and if she dings up the $5k Centurion no big deal so long as she learns before we buy the big bucks wakeboard boat. We spent some time teaching her how to drive today. No docking lessons yet, but they are in the near future.

When we arrived, I stopped short of the launch out of the way of traffic to unhook the rear tie downs, put the plug in, move stuff from the truck to the boat etc. I finish and as I'm driving to start backing down the ramp, some punk with a jet ski drives past me. I put the block on him and back down the ramp (two wide, someone else was loading too) and he gets out of his truck and shakes his head at me. Sheesh. Just use some common sense, ask for help if you need it, and watch what others do to improve your own abilities!

John Jared · Addict Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 726 City: Round Lake, IL

I'm gonna have to take some video shots at our launches and mix it into the riding. After a short period of time you'll realize that an IQ and common sense are not a prereq for owning a boat.

Brit Rider · Posted: Jun 14, 2004 5:01 am Post subject:

Pat, we need a webcam at some of these ramps! Laughing

John Jared · Addict Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 726 City: Round Lake, IL

key · Posted: Jun 14, 2004 5:41 am Post subject:

ive got the ramp story of all stories. bought my new NAUTI TE back in 02. had it maybe two months. 4th of july down at the river after all the fireworks were over, everyone b-lined it to the ramp. so one of my friends had had enough and was ready to go. i was just hanging out watching the mayheim like you all but had to start making my way toward the dock to let someone out. i figured since i was already there i should go ahead and pull out. so i let someone out to back truck in and in the process it was a wait for that. i went back out to the middle of the river and watched this guy back his trailer in, his wife was driving the boat. with the current not in her faver she missed the tailer several times. i got very impattient. ok here it goes,............she missed trailer again and started backing up toward center of river, once i figured out she didnt know we were back there, it was to late. my budy run to the front of the boat preparing to push her off if she got to close and at the same time i yeld out! she realized we were just behind her and paniced. she nailed the throttle, the old out board comes flying out of the water, prop spinning in my budies face since he was retching out to push her off. motor drops back down in the water slams against the side of my bow and digs all the way down into bare fiberglass. needless to say i was screaming and cussing at the top of my lungs. got a report and they paid for the repair. still, not a new boat anymore.............................

Brit Rider · Posted: Jun 14, 2004 5:57 am Post subject:

Wheres the suggestion box round here? Ramp of the month would be awesome. Laughing

glassnpowder98 · Newbie Joined: 28 May 2004 Posts: 35 City: Fairfax

Last year i saw a guy backing out of the public dock and before he got all the way turned around he gunned it for some reason (in a no wake zone) and ran up the side of another guys boat shattering the windshield and putting a nice hole in the fiberglass... the guy just stood there looking really confused.... good thing we were on the other side of the dock...

wilki911 · Posted: Jun 14, 2004 11:18 am Post subject:

These are the funniest stories i've read in a while. Nothing too excited happens at the ramp at my lake. mainly just ppl trying to pull boats out with the smallest engines in their car as possible. is that minivan going to pull out that 24 foot bayliner on a 30 degree gravel ramp? nope, it's going to get pulled into the water. hahaha.

most of my entertainment comes from going down to the local locks on a windy day, and watch teh tourists try to get their giant rental houseboats in and out of the locks. the lock staff screaming at them to go to the right, and they only speak french, swearing the whole way in, and go to the left. meanwhile their supremely hot daughter does nothing but lie on her towel, soaking up the sun. then leaving the lock, they come out of the canal, and get hit by the 20 MPH winds on the rideau lakes, and get blown right off their course towards the nearest boat waiting to come in. if you guys ever get sick of the ramp, go check out the lock systems, bloody hilarious.

i36hyperlite · Posted: Jun 14, 2004 11:25 am Post subject:

yesterday i was coming in from some late afternoon riding out at pleasant...and i'm driving through the no wake zone towards the dock and drive throught the middle of a bunch of floating junk. apparently, somebody forgot to put the plug in their I/O and sank it like 60 feet out...
I mean really people, common sense.
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Junkee · Posted: Jun 14, 2004 11:33 am Post subject:

key · Posted: Jun 14, 2004 11:58 am Post subject:

sorry about all the miss-spells. got in a hurry to get the post in before the end of my break at work. but yea, some preety good stories going here.

for the last of my story...................my buddy who reached out to push off the other boat, when the outboard come out the water, he bailed overboard the opposite dirrection into freezing cold water at 12:00 at night.!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!