It's time for another round of male bashing....

Dragonlady8 · Guest

Well it's been a while for me, but since I've started and happened to be the sole female of the group (10/10) ( other than secretarial staff) it's time for me to pick on the boys again. It's only been 2 days at my new job and the Boys have already been in rare form "sexually" harassing me. I'm gonna love this new job! Devil Guy

The bad part of this job is that I won't be able to be on line very much Crying or Very sad

1. He said....I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got
nothing to put in it. She said... You wear pants don't you?

2. He said...since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to
make love to you really badly. She said...Well, you succeeded.

3. He said...Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She
said...That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit
on the sofa and fart!

4. He said...What have you been doing with all the grocery
money I gave you? She said...Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

5. He said....Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said...I would but you are never there.

6. On a wall in a ladies room...."My husband follows me
everywhere. Written just below it..."I do not."

7. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does
it take to do the dishes?......Both of them.

8. Why did the man cross the road?.....He heard the chicken was a
prost itute.

9. Why don't women blink during foreplay? ......They don't have time.

10. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?.....They
won't stop and ask for directions.

11. What do men and sperm have in common?....They both have
one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.

12. How does a man show that he is planning for the
future?...... He buys two cases of beer.

13. Why are blonde jokes so short?........So men can remember them.

14. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?....We
don't know; it's never happened.

15. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good
looking?.......They already have boyfriends.

16. Why are married women heavier than single women? Single
women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women
come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

17. What is the one thing that all men a t singles bars have in common?
...They are married.

JHrod · Wakeboarder.com Freak Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 3144

hey not all dudes just sit on the couch and fart---some of us perfer the recliner/futon

criminally_minded · Posted: Feb 04, 2003 7:30 pm Post subject:

Wow.... I feel so vulnerable now.....

Richie Martin · Posted: Feb 04, 2003 7:31 pm Post subject:

I'd be offended...if some of that wasn't true.

DRAGON88 · Posted: Feb 04, 2003 9:00 pm Post subject:

i change the TP all of the time!!

Mariognarly · Addict Joined: 14 Jan 2003 Posts: 853

lol some of those are pretty good, but if you're serious about those, Id like to know where you are looking for your men, because I know a ton of men who aren't like the list youve made us out to be. I think its just mainly a perspective thing, I used to be like that towards women too, but those definitly put a smile on my face lol

JRock*Girl · Wakeboarder.Commie Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 1340

Go Phantom...haha some of those are soo true lol

Dragonlady8 · Guest

Mariognarly~ Never take things about guys seriously anymore. This was just one of those email things. Rule #1 in my life ~ NEVER GO LOOKING FOR A MAN. YOU JUST GOTTA LET THINGS HAPPEN
I grew up with a household of brothers and I was stuck in the middle.
And now working for a group that is nothing but guys and in the OR makes feel like I'm back working in the Training/Locker of a Division I College.
(I have to laugh about the last one though)
No mores worries of whiney,petty backstabbing, gossiping laden females!
Christy I know you must envy me now!!! Wink

Budman · Outlaw Joined: 13 Jan 2003 Posts: 137 City: Tifton

A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair,
turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a
beer before it starts." She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he
finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start."

This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.
When it was gone, "Quick, another beer before it starts."

"That's it!" (She blows her top!) "You bastard! You waltz in
here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and
then expect me to run around like your slave. Don't you realize
that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?"

The husband sighed. "It's started..." Razz

nick e[V]ans · Posted: Feb 05, 2003 3:33 am Post subject:

ok sorry phantom but i'm gonna have to get some back here for the boys

B-rad · Posted: Feb 05, 2003 7:23 am Post subject:

That is some great stuff, about the beer drinking that is. If I truly thought she was sincere about all the jokes... I would have flamed her. But since she has been on for a while and just seems a little more agitated than normal, we will let it pass. Relax... Breather... relax... Calm down.

Kinky · Outlaw Joined: 13 Jan 2003 Posts: 218 City: Niagara Falls

Phantom,

THAT was HALARIOUS!!!

Never laughed so much, expecially when I'm by myself... Twisted Evil

wake2wake · Soul Rider Joined: 13 Jan 2003 Posts: 311 City: Lexington

Hey phantom,
sweet!!!
we need a little kicking every now and then!!
peace

Leggester · Posted: Feb 05, 2003 9:31 am Post subject:

Normally, I'd just email phantom, butt, since she started it:::

As you know, Denver hosts the National Western Stock show every year. This
year, tragedy struck. A Man took his wife to the Stock Show and one of the
exhibits is that of breeding bulls. They came up to the first pen and there
was a sign that says "This Bull mated 50 times last year."

The wife poked her husband in the ribs and says, "He mated 50 times last
year."

They walked a little further and see another pen with a sign that says, "This
Bull mated 120 times last year."

The wife hit her husband and says "That's more than twice a week! You could
learn a lot from him."

They walk further and a third pen has a Bull with a sign saying "This Bull
mated 365 times last year."
The wife got really excited and said "That's once a day. You could REALLY
learn something from this one."

The husband looked at her and said .... "Go up and ask him if it was with the
same cow."

After two surgeries and a projected six months of therapy, the husband is may
be able to talk. It is hoped that someday he will be able to walk fully
upright again.

Have fun kiddo. Give those creeps crap! Or, give those craps creep!

Boardbrat · Posted: Feb 05, 2003 11:00 am Post subject:

Men are like Lanolium......If ya lay them right the first time, you can walk on them forever

buttafly · Posted: Feb 05, 2003 12:14 pm Post subject:

This sprung a horrible joke to mind whe I read it Phantom

He says "I could tell you a joke that would knock your tits off, but I can see you already heard it"

I hate that joke

B
Itty Bittie Tittie Commitee

Aubs · Motorboat Queen Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 9167

omg phantom those are the best. i should seriously forward those to all my guy friends - ohh.. that would be great!

Dragonlady8 · Guest

Oh I miss these posts when everyone has fun and not overly defensive.
I know were missing some of the old regulars. Has any one heard from Craig?

Chales · Guest

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an
old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.
The genie said, "OK, OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah
blah blah blah! This is the fourth time this month and I'm
getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about
three of them. You only get one wish!"

The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've
always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get
very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can
drive over there to visit?"

The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the
logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom
of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete ... how much steel!
No, think of another wish."

The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish.
Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My
wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So,
I wish that I could understand women... know how they feel inside
and what they're thinking when they give me the silent
treatment... know why they're crying, know what they really want
when they say 'nothing'... know how to make them truly happy."

The genie said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"

RUSSIAN · Posted: Feb 05, 2003 3:53 pm Post subject:

Thats great Chales Laughing

, I needed that after the day I've had Mad

chase · Outlaw Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 190 City: Clermont, FL

Phantom,
My wife thinks you've been spying on me. What does she mean? Laughing

Boy, I can't beleive any guy would do any of those things! I for one wouldn't dream of it.

K.A · Soul Rider Joined: 13 Jan 2003 Posts: 252 City: Florida

woah chales that was great!! ha

Jello John · Wakeboarder.Commie Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 1936

Nice, Chales!

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?

Because she's a woman.

Boardbrat · Posted: Feb 06, 2003 9:42 am Post subject:

Aubs · Motorboat Queen Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 9167

what did helen keller's parents do when they got angry at her?...

re-arranged the furniture

hahahaha. tahts a good one.

phantom - i haven't heard from craig. i thought he left for training camp this week-end or sometime next week, but im not 100% sure..

Sarah · Outlaw Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 244 City: Manahawkin

WOW i like those alot! Nice work Phantom Very Happy

Sarah · Outlaw Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 244 City: Manahawkin

There are easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree,for instance

Why is that when a man talks dirty to a women its sexual harrasment but when a women talks dirty to a man its $3.95 per min

Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable

ONLY 10% of MEN go to HEAVEN, cuz if they ALL* *went it WOULD be HELL

Grouch · Posted: Feb 11, 2003 10:32 am Post subject:

Male dumb blond Joke