jokes of the day.

throttlekitty · Outlaw Joined: 16 May 2003 Posts: 115

what's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 lbs.

what the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes

what makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention in driving.

a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the third grade. who has the bigger boobs? the blonde. she's 18.

why don't bunnies make noise when they are having sex? they have cotton balls.

what's the difference between a pocupine and a bmw? a porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

why does mike tyson cry during sex? mace will do that to you.

what's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? a northern fairytale begins with "once upon a time.." and a southern fairytale begins with "ya'll ain't goin to beleive this $hit..."

what do you call a smart blonde? a golden retriever.

what's the difference in a southern zoo and a northern zoo? a southern zoo has a description on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.

enjoy!

kitty

jumalian · Ladies Man Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 7625 City: san diego

Whoa! A throttlekitty sighting!

Welcome back!

throttlekitty · Outlaw Joined: 16 May 2003 Posts: 115

yeah i'm like elvis!!

i come back from the dead every now and then!!

kitty

Dragonlady8 · Guest

A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to an extremely gorgeous woman.
The first thing he notices about her though, are her pants. They were
skin-tight, high-waisted and had no obvious mechanism (zipper, buttons or
velcro) for opening them.
After several minutes of puzzling over how she got the pants up over her
hips, he finally worked up the nerve to ask her.
"Excuse me miss, but how do you get into your pants?"
"Well," she replied, "you can start by buying me a drink."

Leggester · Posted: Aug 28, 2003 8:46 am Post subject:

Dlady, that was old when you before you were a twinkle in your momma's eye! Mr. Green

Dragonlady8 · Guest

Words of experience Leggester? Laughing

Hope you have a safe and fun Labor Day Weekend Wink

Dees · Posted: Aug 28, 2003 11:39 am Post subject:

wow that was nice

RampageWake · Posted: Aug 28, 2003 11:51 am Post subject:

Dear Abby:

I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next month. My fiancee's mother is not only very attractive but really great and understanding. She is putting the entire wedding together and invited me to her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a bit beyond what we had expected it to be.

When I got to her place we reviewed the list and trimmed it down to just under a hundred ... then she floored me. She said that in a month I would be a married man and that before that happened, she wanted to have sex with me. Then she just stood up and walked to her bedroom and on her way said that I knew where the front door was if I wanted to leave.

I stood there for about five minutes and finally decided that I knew exactly how to deal with this situation. I headed straight out the front door...

There, leaning against my car was her husband, my father-in-law to be. He was smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure I was a good kid and would be true to their little girl. I shook his hand and he congratulated me on passing their little test.

Abby, should I tell my fiancee' what her parents did, and that I thought their "little test" was asinine and insulting to my character?

Or should I keep the whole thing to myself including the fact that the reason I was walking out to my car was to get a condom?

wakeboarder · Addict Joined: 24 Apr 2003 Posts: 702

Leggester · Posted: Aug 28, 2003 12:31 pm Post subject:

Thanks Dlady, you too.

I was having fun getting beat up on WW.com earlier. You missed it!

have fun, be safe! Razz

eeven73 · Posted: Aug 28, 2003 2:04 pm Post subject:

following up on dragonlady's joke.

Celine Dion sit at the end of the bar. Bartender says why the long face Rolling Eyes

iceman4sho2004 · Newbie Joined: 18 Jul 2003 Posts: 13 City: Atlanta, GA

How do you circumcise a guy from Alabama.
--Kick his sister in the chin.

Did you know French tanks have 5 gears. 4 in reverse and 1 in forward (in case they get attacked from the rear)

Dragonlady8 · Guest

An Accountant comes home one day and tells his wife that he just got a Tattoo.

W:Really? Where did you put it?
H: I had a $100 bill tattooed on my penis.
W: What??!! Are you Crazy! Why would anyone want to get a tattoo there?
H: Well first of all I like to watch my money grow.
2nd -I also like to play with my money ,
and the best thing is that you don't even have to go shopping, you can just blow a $100 anytime you want right here.

wakeboarder · Addict Joined: 24 Apr 2003 Posts: 702

i bet that would hurt

Wake Hobo · Outlaw Joined: 31 Jul 2003 Posts: 227 City: Kemp

two blondes were walking in the woods when they came upon some tracks. Then they began to argue. One blonde insisted that they were deer tracks. The Second Bonde argued that she was absolutly sure that they were racoon tracks. But before they could settle the argument the train ran them over.

JHrod · Wakeboarder.com Freak Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 3144

iceman4sho2004, no alabama jokes allowed Twisted Evil

nick e[V]ans · Posted: Aug 30, 2003 4:01 pm Post subject:

RampageWake, that was pretty good, nasty but still good

iowaboarder · Outlaw Joined: 15 Jun 2003 Posts: 238 City: Des Moines

two fish swim into a cement wall...one looks at the other and says, "DAM"

Wake Hobo · Outlaw Joined: 31 Jul 2003 Posts: 227 City: Kemp

Pope in a volkswagen!!!

Chales · Guest

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says "hey is this some kind of a joke?"

Confucious says, "man who walks through turnstile sideways is going to bangcock."

A Texan and a Harvard grad meet in a bar.
Texan: Hi, where ya from?
Harvard: I come from a place where we do not end our sentences in prepositions.
Texan: Ok. Where ya from jackass?

Thank you.

B-rad · Posted: Sep 03, 2003 6:09 am Post subject:

I like that one... Good one Chales!