My new naked friend

[tball]

I have been befriended by an old naked man at my gym.

This makes me sad. Thanks for listening.

[pyrocasto]

Sounds like something off of Family Guy.

[bass69]

i dont get this

[booby bunny]

Is it possible he has some form of dementia?

[jt09]

booby bunny, probably not. old dudes at the gym just don't give a crap. naked old guy is at every gym in the country. they walk around w/ their old saggy balls flopping around carrying on conversations w/ whoever will talk to them.

i'm betting tball messed up and engaged old guy in conversation at some point while he was still clothed and old guy carried that over to the naked version.

[Zach M]

Rule of the gym...

Don't make eye contact with anyone in the locker room. To many, this constitutes your desire to carry a conversation. This is especially true with old naked guys.


Rule of the gym #2...

Don't EVER go in the hot tub in the mens locker room. Even if it is empty, there will be at least one old naked guy who joins you by the time you leave.

[tball]

Good pull, jt. This old guy started talking to me in the pool after I finished my laps. Next thing I know I'm getting the full frontal in the locker room while he explains to me why a national flat tax would drop consumer costs by 50%. The next day I get another nard display while he tells me about an acquaintance of his who was fired for some reason or another. Even worse than his junk flopping around, he doesn't wear flip flops in the shower/toilet area. Makes me cringe.

Anyway, I've got to come up with a way to break up with this guy.

ZachM, exactly.

[Dragonlady8]

tball, get nekked too and stand really really close to him while you're talking

[nmballa]

The worst is when you hop in the sauna, start relaxing and in comes old naked guy. Sits next to you and begins to sweat. You know when its time to bail when you can hear the sweat dropping of his sack and hitting the ground below.

[bass69]

[pyrocasto]

[nmballa]

pyrocasto, gotta admit I typically dont sport flip flops in the shower either. But it pretty rare I use the gym shower anyhow. My gym is about 5 mins. from my house so I typically just shoot home to get cleaned up.

[Chattwake]

Never go into the sauna or whirlpool in a public gym. Jesus.

About three years ago, when I was living in Knoxville, I used to work out at the YMCA downtown. (The Y, by the way, is the epicenter of the old naked balls universe) One day, I'm walking in to the guys locker room and I'm passing by this punch board where people ususally post their business cards or for sale ads, and I see this type-written letter. It says - "Warning, do not use the sauna at this gym. I used the sauna last week and got crabs. Try explaining that to your wife." I almost barfed right then. Shortly thereafter, the Y started tearing out the sauna and huge communal shower thing and began remodeling the entire facility.

Anyway, when I go to the gym locker room at the Y in Chattanooga now, I don't look around, don't speak to anyone, change as fast as I can, and avoid the showers, sauna, whirlpool, couches/chairs in the TV lounge (where naked old guys like to congregate and let their old balls sit directly on the leather), etc.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm in that movie Waiting when I'm in the locker room. If you turn a corner at the wrong time you just end up with an eye full of junk.

[Alter Ego]

Don't forget to stretch you're creamy hamstrings

[boardordie]

Never use the sinks in the men's locker room either! Nothing better then shaving where old naked guy just got done resting his nutz while brushing his teeth!!!!

[Dragonlady8]

[Bowen]

It's soo true. Old guys love to talk, but there is something about when they are naked they just want to talk more because you have no choice but to make eye contact!

[Dragonlady8]

Old guys get lonely, just need someone to talk to. Just be glad they haven't hit on you too.

[Capix]

I rather go shower at my house and avoid any sort of naked conversation in the gym.

But I do feel their pain, being lonely and all.

[NVChickadee]

You guy's make the gym sound scary... I don't seem to have this type of issue on the women's side... I've never even considered the whole sink thing - I don't think I've seen a naked hootchie sitting on the sink or even the vanity area at my gym - but hey, thanks - I'll be completely paranoid tomorrow... Maybe I should pick up some of those clorox wipes just in case....

[Tyler T]

Why is everyone so worried about naked people? Is this a manifestation of homophobia?

[tball]

NVChickadee, a different naked guy at my gym tea-bags the sink every morning. Clorox wipes ain't a bad idea, actually...

Tyler T, for me anyway, it's that nakedness in the locker room should be a means, not an end. Normal folks are naked as a means (to take a shower, to change clothes). These old clingy types consider it an event. Sample exercise routine for old naked dude:

1. Park badly.
2. Sit on butterfly machine (7 minutes)
3. Walk .16 mi on treadmill (leave it turned on when finished)
4. Sit on butterfly machine (7 minutes)
5. Go to locker room
6. Take off all clothes and wander around for an hour
7. Look for tball and talk politics (superset with #6)
8. Drive home badly.

[JoeyJojo]

Creepy naked guy in locker room to guys =
creepy guy that mashes his penis against a bus window for women

they are one in the same; perverts. except for the old men that just dont give a stuff anymore, but you can tell those from the creeps.

[chewyjr15]

at me local gym me and my friend were working-out and went into the steam room to be greeted by a 78 yo naked man that then began to ask us to rub him down we immedialty left and later found out that he was senile!