Community Property & Cheating Spouses ??

lcap · Ladies Man Joined: 13 Nov 2003 Posts: 10973 City: Homeless

Some things make no sense to me. I understand the concept of "community property" in marriage but I don't get it if your spouse cheats on you, breaches the contract, how or why they are entitled to half of the community property.

In business if a partner breaches our contract, they don't get half. If they attempted to get half, I could counter sue them at the very least for lost potential revenue and at most for business devastation. So in the business of marriage, where the partnership accumulates wealth, does the partner who breaches the contract get half? If they get half, why can't you recover for business devastation?

ohsix · Posted: Aug 12, 2008 12:04 pm Post subject:

Did your wife cheat on you, or is this just a random thought?

lcap · Ladies Man Joined: 13 Nov 2003 Posts: 10973 City: Homeless

Thankfully it isn't me, its a buddy. His wife is an older woman--44 year old that decided the flavor of the month was a boy that just turned 18. This is the second time he has caught her and now the dumby wumby is waffling about kicking her to the curb.

He makes all the money, always has. He doesn't want to "start" over and she's promised to take everything. She has a rich dad who will fund a lengthy divorce proceeding. He messed up by tapping her phone, illegal and not admissible in court vs. catching her with the boy playing hide the pickle.

I can't stand this whore and what she's done to him so I'm trying to sort out a few things to help him out.

jt09 · Ladies Man Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 22083 City: Austin

your friend isn't very smart. i won't say he deserves it, but he screwed that up.

lcap · Ladies Man Joined: 13 Nov 2003 Posts: 10973 City: Homeless

jt09

I couldn't agree more! I don't understand guys when they are hen pecked. I've never figured out how to make someone that is hen pecked to understand. 50% of what you have is 50% of what you have--today, tomorrow or at the end of the year. Kick her out and start rebuilding.

I know this isn't the second time so I'm gathering some information that may put him over the top to do the right thing.

Dragonlady8 · Black Widow Joined: 27 Aug 2004 Posts: 9198

Just tell the dumass to hire a Private Detective/investigator and get all the stuff he needs to prove infidelity.

vette74 · Posted: Aug 12, 2008 2:05 pm Post subject:

Does he have kids?

htownbdr · Posted: Aug 12, 2008 3:46 pm Post subject:

Not much annoys me more than community property. By the way, look on the bright side, community property doesn't mean 50/50...It means "fair and equitable"...or something like that. It is very possible that even with her infidelity, she could get more than 50%.

I am sure she can make her argument that he drove her away, made her feel uselss, was distant, not showing her love...blah blah blah and that it was HIS fault she strayed.

ohsix · Posted: Aug 12, 2008 6:01 pm Post subject:

I'm a young guy and I think I've done alright for my age, but I don't think I'd put up with a woman cheating on me for any amount of my money. I think I'd tell her to take what she wants and I don't ever want to see her or hear from her again. Your friend can go out and rebuild, and depending on the business, he can probably ruin her while he's at it. In a few years, he'll be in good shape and she'll be bankrupt, the 18 year olds will find a new sugar momma, and she'll be wishing she'd stayed faithful.

That's the way it would go in my imaginary world anyway.

NVChickadee · Posted: Aug 12, 2008 6:22 pm Post subject:

chavez · RIP MHL 04/25/1958 - 01/11/2006

lcap · Ladies Man Joined: 13 Nov 2003 Posts: 10973 City: Homeless

Yes they have one child together and he has another from a one night thing in his youth. He has joint custody of kid one. She has treated kid one worse than a red headed step child his whole life.

She hasn't worked in 10 years and didn't bring any money to the marriage. He has worked his ass off with two full time sales jobs. The worst part is she hired a babysitter to watch kid 2 downstairs while she banged this kid upstairs.

Always read women tend to have affairs with men that are better providers than their spouse. Confused

Going after teenagers to me makes no sense--other than to help her self esteem. Then again, just about any woman could easily get just about any man fairly easily--if only for a few minutes.

I've told him over and over again, the money be damned--get out. I have no idea how he can even look at her without going nuts. That isn't good for anyone.

I'll have to work on some ideas; moving assets around, selling assets cheap to a friend to be re-gifted back later, trust funds, etc.

pyrocasto · Posted: Aug 12, 2008 8:10 pm Post subject:

lcap, it can be hard. If you find you spouse cheating, and sell their stuff cheap, it's possible to reverse the transaction. The court has done it to us in business, when other people go bankrupt that paid us 6 months ago.

hco · Posted: Aug 13, 2008 3:04 am Post subject:

sell as much as he can to friends, and have him put away a ton of money into college education funds (Saving he would do anyways for his kids), that is tax free and can not be touched by the kid until he is 21, and can only be used for educational purposes.

Commodore · Ladies Man Joined: 20 Jun 2005 Posts: 11636

He's screwed. Any way you look at it, it's too late for him now. Cut his losses and bail.

eeven73 · Posted: Aug 13, 2008 7:40 am Post subject:

he could go Keyser Soze on the situation. Idea

Corporate · Posted: Aug 13, 2008 9:14 am Post subject:

They can't garnish wages while you are working in another country....time for a European sales stint.

vette74 · Posted: Aug 13, 2008 9:38 am Post subject:

Yea but he ends up screwing the kids in the process. Like stated above just put the excess money into the kids college then file.

hammy · Outlaw Joined: 22 May 2006 Posts: 137 City: dallas-ish

lcap, annual exclusion for gifts is $12k per person tax free. ie, 12k to you, 12k to me, 12k to cb, etc... lifetime allowable tax free is ~$700k currently. anything over 12g's a year requires a gift tax return, probably not desirable in this situation.

present interest in a trust also constitutes a gift. most require a lawyer anyways which may or may not be favorable to the goal.

education fund is a good idea - don't know too much about those though (521 plan?)

I bring this up with the utmost respect for you and your opinions, but weren't you arguing that guys in crappy situations (marriages) should man and lawyer up and fight for what they want (kids). Just curious if you've extended that same advice to your friend here.

Bambamski · Posted: Aug 13, 2008 12:51 pm Post subject:

why not just catch her again???? if she's done it twice it will happen again. Just be smarter this time

lcap · Ladies Man Joined: 13 Nov 2003 Posts: 10973 City: Homeless

hammy

This is sort of the same argument. He says he wants the kids but the truth is, they are A LOT of work and he knows it. In this situation, he could get custody. Although he can't use the phone tap, he can use the kid. Occasionally I teach wakeboarding and I'm finding out now that she reached out to at least three of the kids; 15-18 years old. Not many people would cotton to that sort of behavior. So alimony would be limited and child support would be on the other foot.

The one thing he did after the first time he caught her 11 years ago and this time is kept ALL of his finances private. She has no clue what he makes, what investments he has, what the bills are; nothing.

He promised me last night that although it may appear to be "status quo" on the outside, he is working on taking care of business and the kids. There are a lot avenues you guys bring up that will ensure he doesn't lose everything and the kids are taken care of.

I have to learn about the education trust. I promised my dad before he passed away that I would make certain all his grand kids had college paid for. So I'll help him on that also.