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Another round of: What Would You Do?

 
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Faust
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PostPosted: Mar 29, 2013 6:35 am    Post subject: Another round of: What Would You Do? Reply with quote

The past few days I've been thinking to myself, "so this is how family members can become estranged from each other". Let me explain:

A week ago my mom finally got an accepted offer on her house, which had been on the market for about a year now. She calls me up to tell me, and she says that she needs a place to live by May 1st. She asks if I have any vacancies at any of my rentals. I say no. But then without thinking, I say, "I suppose I might be able to kick out one of the month-to-month tenants"... oops....

A split second later I realize this is a bad idea for several reasons.... I explain that there's no guarantee the tenants would move out by May 1st, in which case she would be stuck... I explain that her offer might fall through, in which case I could be stuck without any tenants... I explain that I really don't want to rent to family members because there are a large variety of things that can go wrong that can destroy the relationship.

But it's too late. The idea has taken hold in my mom's head. She calls a couple days later, again requesting if I could kick out the tenants so she could move in. In the nicest way possible I decline. And now she is bringing it up to EVERYONE. I'm the son that didn't let his mom move in at one of his rentals... and now I'm considering not joining the family for Easter at this point to avoid the inevitable slaughter.

Any advice on how I could possibly save face and not look like a jerk in this situation???
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STPHNSN23
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PostPosted: Mar 29, 2013 6:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"i talked with my attorney, and he said i don't have grounds to lawfully evict my tenant."
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ohsix
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PostPosted: Mar 29, 2013 6:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It looks like your options are:
1. Kick out a tenant and let your mom move into a rental
b. Tell your mom she's on her own
3. Help your mother find a place to rent that you don't own

Based on what you've said, I wouldn't think you're a jerk for not kicking out a tenant and letting your mom move in, I'd think you're a jerk for offering to do that then reneging.
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jgriffith
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PostPosted: Mar 29, 2013 6:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would still go, although I am not the type of person that avoids uncomfortable situations. IMO not showing up to family event because of a lil family drama is not a good idea and only adds to the drama.

Man that is a tough one, I hate when I say something and immediately regret it. So you explained that its not a good idea in the same conversation that you brought it up right? Not later? She has an entire month to find another place, she should let it go IMO. Just tell her you were just kidding and didn't expect her to think you would kick out a tenant through no fault of their own.
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Faust
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PostPosted: Mar 29, 2013 6:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just to be clear I never truly offered. I was thinking out loud and said it off the cuff, like "I suppose I might be able to kick out one of the month-to-month tenants"... and then quickly tried back-pedalling.
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PostPosted: Mar 29, 2013 6:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

When my mother needs me, I help her, until her needs are satisfied. End of story. But that's me and my mother, not you and yours.
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fish6942
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PostPosted: Mar 29, 2013 6:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Are there not other rentals available in the area that you could help her find (and move into)?

I noticed there was no mention of her moving in with you temporarily. Laughing
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goofyboy
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PostPosted: Mar 29, 2013 6:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

go with the lawyer route.
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Okie Boarder
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PostPosted: Mar 29, 2013 8:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would suggest the honest route like Faust recommended. For a positive bonus, you could look at a few potential rentals for her and deliver her those options along with your statement, to show that you are concerned about helping her out as best you can.
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GnarShredd
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PostPosted: Mar 29, 2013 9:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not showing up would be the worst thing IMO. My mom's side of the family doesn't really talk anymore and it bums me out. Had some cool aunts/uncles/cousins that I never hear from anymore because of stubborn bullchit. They just kind of stopped talking.

I obviously don't know her but I'd hope that she'll get over the situation as soon as she finds a place. Part of it is probably stress that she doesn't have a plan. If you feel guilty, help her shop around and find one.
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pet575
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PostPosted: Mar 29, 2013 12:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Agreed that you should show up. It at least gives you a chance to explain that you were thinking out loud and shouldn't have done that and that was wrong to have done. Then you have the "talked to my lawyer" card in your back pocket if that doesn't get you anywhere.

If you still can't make any traction, you can always suggest that she just become a month-to-month tenant who is also susceptible to the "kick out for someone else at any time treatment." Laughing

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Tracktor
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PostPosted: Mar 29, 2013 2:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It sounds like you don't want your mom as a tenant? By that I mean, the fact that this is an issue for her means there may be more issues down the road if you decide to rent to her.........My MIL lives with us and it's great but if she decided to be a pain she would be out on her ass............I have been screwed to many times by family members to have much sympathy anymore..........
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PostPosted: Mar 29, 2013 3:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You story sounds perfectly sound, and yes kicking out a MtM tenant is a bad idea IMO. If she doesnt see that then you should do everything you can to help her find a rental, and still show up for the family get togethers. At least that way you can say you tried more than everyone else in the family so they have no room to talk.

I've learned 1 thing in life about business, which is what you're rentals are: dont work with family or friends, because there's a better chance of winning the lottery as there is keeping those relationships in tact. I say that coming from someone who works in a family business... Laughing But I know if something goes south our relationships will be affected. A lot of times the only way out of a family business without someone resenting you is death... So what happens if your mom stops paying and you cant afford it anymore?

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Aubs
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PostPosted: Mar 30, 2013 4:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Big time family discussions never end well on holidays. Our Christmas Eve was ruined by a huge family debate/argument. Just tread lightly....
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jt09
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PostPosted: Mar 30, 2013 6:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

my mom is a nightmare right now, but i'd do whatever she needed to take care of her.

that said, i'm not sure that includes putting someone else out on their ass. you screwed up opening your mouth before and put yourself in a bad spot. i'd go w/ the lawyer excuse and find some other way to help her out.
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TnR6Rida
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PostPosted: Mar 31, 2013 5:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lawyer excuse sounds the best to me.
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