My Grandpa passed away today

b_girl · Posted: Jan 24, 2013 8:54 am Post subject: My Grandpa passed away today

2013 has not started out to be the greatest year for me.

I found out this morning that my Grandpa had passed away earlier this morning. We had just gone to visit him in the hospital last night and he wasn't doing very well. I believe he had a really bad case of pneumonia (or something that started with pneumonia but progressed) - essentially, he couldn't breathe properly and they were having to drain his lungs constantly. I was hoping he would have lasted longer. I love my Grandpa so much, he was always such a fun-loving person and for quite some time he was able to joke around about the "woes" of getting old.

Almost 6 years ago my Grandma passed away - the love of his life... he literally lived for her and when she was gone, he started getting depressed. His depression hit an all-time high recently as his health started declining more and more.

I hadn't seen him as much as I should have recently, and that makes me sad. But I'm happy I got to see him last night and give him a hug goodbye.

On top of this, I also found out a week ago that I've had what they call a missed miscarriage. My husband and I have been trying for years and have been through countless fertility treatments, so we had been so excited when we found out back in November that I was finally pregnant... and just as I got into my 2nd trimester, we find out that the baby had died within a couple days of my last ultrasound (where they had found the heartbeat). My body, for whatever reason, held onto it for over 6 weeks. I've been devastated ever since hearing that news.

I feel that the news about my Grandpa is about to set me over the edge. I realize he's at peace now and hopefully with my Grandma, but that image of him from last night is burned into my mind. I just wish there was something I could have done to help him feel better.

He was 93 and did live a good, long life.

jgriffith · Posted: Jan 24, 2013 9:39 am Post subject:

Sorry about both losses.

We went through three miscariages before we had our boy. The problem was low progesterone levels. I had to give my wife progesterone shots every day of the first trimester. We saw two different specialists (one during the first trimester and another through the rest due to other complications) on a weekly basis the whole pregnancy. Next time you plan a pregnancy insist on seeing a specialist to monitor everything throughout the first trimester.

Will pray for you and your family.

b_girl · Posted: Jan 24, 2013 10:34 am Post subject:

Thanks. My mom just called to say that my husband isn't allowed to come to the funeral (my dad hates my husband), so now I have to figure out how to handle that.

I was on daily progesterone as well - I'd assume that's part of the reason why I haven't miscarried it yet (been off the progesterone for almost 2 weeks now). With my next one, I believe my fertility clinic will be monitoring me longer prior to discharging me to my family doctor (I will double check this with them soon though). This time they had discharged me at 7 weeks, when they had found the heartbeat. It's always helpful to hear of people who have succeeded after having a miscarriage (or multiples), so thank you.

goofyboy · Posted: Jan 24, 2013 11:41 am Post subject:

Sorry about your grandpa.

Good friend of mine miscarried and now has a beautiful baby girl. It is devistating, but hang in there.

pet575 · Posted: Jan 25, 2013 8:25 am Post subject:

Sorry to hear this b_girl. Never been involved with a miscarriage or anything what you've experienced but certainly dealt with losing several family members recently. It sucks and it never gets easier.

You are incredibly stressed but hang in there. Think of all the good things about your grandpa and how much joy you had together. FWIW, now is not a time for a family war-you guys need each other instead of fighting. If you want your husband there and he wants to be there, then he should go and pay his respects. If you/he is OK with not going then he should stay home. But if he needs to be there, nobody should be telling him he shouldn't be there.

FlyZone CR · Posted: Jan 25, 2013 8:45 am Post subject:

Sorry to hear all that b_girl! I wish you a lot of strenght.

b_girl · Posted: Jan 25, 2013 11:53 am Post subject:

Thanks.

I agree, pet575, now is definitely not the time for family war! I talked to my brother today and he agrees, which is awesome. I'll be talking to my parents tonight. I do want him to come and he essentially will be coming - he'll be bringing his Nana who was friends with my Grandpa. Fingers crossed it'll all work out.

If there really is a heaven, then at least my Grandpa is with my Grandma now Smile

chavez · RIP MHL 04/25/1958 - 01/11/2006

Bummer to hear about the double wham of gramps and miscarry.

My bro and sil are have miscarried thrice in the last 6 months. Clearly they get prego no problem but her body can't hang on. It's definitely an emotional roller coaster.... Evil or Very Mad

Neognosis · Ladies Man Joined: 13 Jan 2003 Posts: 17446 City: Webster

my deepest condolences and good wished.

Okie Boarder · Ladies Man Joined: 03 Mar 2008 Posts: 8485 City: Edmond

Sorry for the loss b girl. I'll be praying for you and the family for peace. Sorry about the miscarriage, as well. Don't let it get you down, it will happen when the time is right. We've also had friends deal with issues and eventually have a child. We also have had friends that tried and eventually adopted, which can be a blessing in itself.

I agree with what pet575 said about the family situation.

b_girl · Posted: Jan 25, 2013 1:35 pm Post subject:

Thanks everyone.

shaggyboarder · Posted: Jan 26, 2013 8:31 am Post subject:

Sorry to hear about your losses. You should bring your husby to the funeral. Ive been in the position recently for not being able to be there for the loss of a family member due to a parent disliking me. Looking back I should of just showed up to support the people who matter in my life.

b_girl · Posted: Jan 28, 2013 5:43 am Post subject:

Thanks... yeah my husband is coming to the funeral tomorrow - just not to the visitation thing tonight. I worked things out with my mom last night in regards to that, so that's good.