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What kind of woman would you rather marry?
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ScottyB_RochNY
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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 5:45 am    Post subject: What kind of woman would you rather marry? Reply with quote

1.) A woman who went to college for four years, earned a worthless degree and banged a dozen frat guys, is saddled with debt. She wants to be done with her "career" by 30 anyway and home raising her kids....or possibly she doesn't want to go home at 30 and raise the kids, you two end up putting your kids in day care and bringing home two paychecks

2.) A woman who, after high school, went for a year to an affordable school that was a combination of charm school, culinary school, basic finance, and home ec class. She wants to be a wife and mother full time.

3.) Other (please specify)

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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 6:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think its pretty crappy and ignorant to say that people who put their kids in daycare are "letting someone else raise them"
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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 6:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

fixed for ignorance
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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 6:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ive got to go with #1, otherwise I would be in trouble. It does work well for us though. I'm not sure if I would enjoy having a stay at home wife, seems like she would get bored.

EDIT, I missed the worthless degree part, my wife has a very useful and profitable degree: PharmD. She was also married to me during school so the banging frat guys is out too.


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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 6:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

None of those two choices give enough information to make a decision.

There are SO Many other things to consider. For instance,

1- is this in fantasy world where I make enough to support a wife a few kids and live in a decent neighborhood, or is this reality, where we will be scraping the bottom and barely making it if I had to support three or more people on just my salary?

2- What kind of families do they come from?

3- Does the one who wants to stay home... does she want to stay home to raise kids and make a home, or is she a lazy and entitled C you Next Tuesday, who is going to make my life miserable?

4- Do they both love sucking D equally, or does one look at it as a chore that will end soon after marriage?



and another question... did the one who didn't go to an expensive college also bang a bunch of guys, and does that really matter?

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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 7:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

3. Woman who went to school and earned a marketable degree(could care less how many frat guys she may have banged during this period). Said woman then puts degree to use in a profitable career. Two income family, live well, dump money into retirement accounts, hope to retire better than you live while working. Put kids in day care, when/if needed.
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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 7:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

CB, there's an option 3 for a reason. have at it, I've got open ears. I just took two groups I have interest in for a larger narrative of my own.
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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 7:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

E.J. wrote:
3. Woman who went to school and earned a marketable degree(could care less how many frat guys she may have banged during this period). Said woman then puts degree to use in a profitable career. Two income family, live well, dump money into retirement accounts, hope to retire better than you live while working. Put kids in day care, when/if needed.


That is our plan, we are on pace to retire well at about 55.
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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 7:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

no degree is truly worthless, it's the person with the degree. My wife got a degree in anthropology, like WTF are you going to do with that right? she's now a high level manager at very successful software company with good future. Some of the people that got masters in engineering with me are still doing entry level consulting jobs 8 years later.

So I vote girl with 4 year degree and be dink's for a while, two people trying to get successful careers have much better chances at one succeeding than only one person trying to succeed.

Maybe she'll get lucky, hit it big with a surprise career and you get to wakeboard all day.
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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 7:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, scottyB, the woman I married (and am now divorcing) as well as my girlfriend, both would stay home and raise the kids in an instant if we could maintain our home in a decent neighborhood on just my salary.

Option B sounds better, given the two you listed, because she's probably got less student loan debt.

I would ultimately pick the one who's other ideas more closely matched my own, UNLESS we have the kind of relationship where she can challenge me and get me to rethink my ideas... as long as she is open to the same and we make it work.

You sort of make your "option 2" sound like a nicer girl. I don't know if this was intentional.

Ultimately, I would just go back and marry Shelly.

AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 7:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

HAHAH shelly is gonna be married to that guy she's dating now. I wish I could sleep with her one last time!

And yes I know there's a lot of other personality traits that make the question different, what I'm pointing towards is life path for her and life path for the two as a couple.

I used to think that I would only consider a college educated girl as a partner. Now I'm not so sure anymore.

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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 7:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I chose 3: pick the woman that fits me most, minus the college baggage even though she went and got a lib arts degree. Of course, that degree (and the extra year+ for certification) is what she needed to do what she wanted (teach).

She says she would stay home in a heartbeat with the boy. I think she'd get bored, and additionally, wouldn't like the repercussions of living off only my income. We have a great setup right now, with a wonderful day-care arrangement and the balance has been great.

And for those saying you want to retire at 55 - and do what? No way in hell I retire at 55, or 65, maybe not even 75. Unless my capacity is heavily diminished at that age, there isn't a singular reason why I'd "retire" given my profession. Now, my schedule might look like 1 month on 1 off, but "retire"? Nah. Cool

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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 7:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

chavez wrote:

And for those saying you want to retire at 55 - and do what? No way in hell I retire at 55, or 65, maybe not even 75. Unless my capacity is heavily diminished at that age, there isn't a singular reason why I'd "retire" given my profession. Now, my schedule might look like 1 month on 1 off, but "retire"? Nah. Cool


Golf, scuba dive, travel, week+ long backpacking trips, enjoy grandkids, etc...I can think of a few things I would like to do while I am still young enough to enjoy them.
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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 7:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I personally dont care if they have a degree or what they want to do regarding their career...I want a decent women that loves me. I want someone that doesnt whine, complain and treats me well. My wife is not part of my retirement process.


My wife has a biology degree and is extremely intelligent. She is a perfumer and has the option to make 150k a year if she finished the official perfumer process. At this point we choose for her to work three days a week and takes care of our little one. She has not finished her perfumer process and we have no plans for her to. My daughter goes to school and stays with her grandmother when needed. Due to this process my kid is one of the most well behaved, respectful and loving kids I know. I attribute that directly to how much interaction she has with a parent that is vested in her interest. I could make a chunk of change but would I change my scenario..Absolutely not. My wife is probably the coolest chick in the world (outside of a few minor issues), is smart, takes care of our kid and I have no problem passing up that massive chunk of change for the harmony in my life.

Many of my friends have dime piece wives that make 100k. Most of them are miserable because their wives are complete bishes. Money and looks are not all they are made up to be for me at least.

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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 7:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

^ good input
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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 8:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
My wife is probably the coolest chick in the world (outside of a few minor issues), is smart, takes care of our kid and I have no problem passing up that massive chunk of change for the harmony in my life.


This

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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 8:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

^^^^. I hope we are just taking for granted that the woman loves us and treats us well.....

Anyone that chooses to marry a woman that doesn't love them or treat them well, has bigger issues than an educated woman, 2 incomes or if your kids are in daycare..... Laughing
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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 8:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd prefer the wife to work full time, make a good salary and daycare or shared nanny for the kids. I have no kids so I can't speak from experience AT ALL. But based on an outsiders view, how I was raised, and looking at other kids I've developed a few reasons. Of course this assumes high quality, safe day care.

Few of my friends who are professional homemakers seem to put the care into it that one would expect working in an office. Things like cooking a thoughtful, tasty, healthy meal on a nightly basis, packing lunches, keeping the house clean, doing laundry, attending PTA meetings, thinking of fun educational activities in the summer, the list goes on. It takes a lot of work to maintain a household. My friends who have stay at home wives spend more time on facebook, toss their kids in front of the TV or xbox, and do the stay at home thing because they have never really had the ambition to work hard and strive for excellence. I think it would be easy to fall into this trap for almost everyone. I'd have a hard time not sitting at home playing video games with the kids all day if it were me. I know I need accountability, and a complaining spouse doesn't make for a very good boss.

The other thing is by the end of the day they seem to be so sick of the kids that they just want to hand them over. Spending 24 hours 7 days a week with a 2 year old would drive me insane, I don't know how anyone does it. If you both come home to the kids having had a break and adult conversation you both have more energy and quality time to spend, and if either parent wants to get out and do their own activities, hit the lake or catch up with a friend, it's ok because the other is going to enjoy that alone time with the kids more.

I think it helps social development too. Rather than interacting with parents and possibly another sibling, the kids are taught to be social from a very early age. I think this point is more debatable than the rest, but social development is pretty important in your lifetime.

So for me I'd choose option #1, although you gave us like 4 data points and 1 of them was banging a bunch of frat boys, so it's hard to get too gung ho over it.

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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 8:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Many of my friends have dime piece wives that make 100k. Most of them are miserable because their wives are complete bishes. Money and looks are not all they are made up to be for me at least.

Well said.

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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 8:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I tried #2 the first time and was not happy at all with how that worked out.

My current wife fits #1 better and it is a much better fit.
I personally made this decision after my first marriage because I wanted someone that had the ability to live on there own, manage a budget pay bills etc.. Not because I needed that myself but because I did not want to have this be a struggle for the rest of my life. This is not to say someone that did not go to college could not have done these things but IMO its more rare. Also I am not a big fan of having a stay at home wife or mom simply for economic reasons, and because anyone that I would be interested in would get bored sitting at home all day.
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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 8:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
and because anyone that I would be interested in would get bored sitting at home all day.


This is arrogant and ignorant as well.

Stay at home moms are NOT sitting around the house all day.

They are chasing rugrats and facilitating all the activites they are engaged in.

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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 8:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

eeven73, not all of them. high school girl friends mom sat around and didn't do anything all day. she was lazy and worthless.
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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 9:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've been thinking about this a bit since I'm kinda sorta maybe possibly approaching the age that I might get married.

I think that ambition and intelligence play the largest roles in long-term relationship healthiness. Resentment most often arises when one person is more ambitious than the other, or more intelligent than the other.

I'll be the first to admit my current gf isn't model material, and our personalities are practically exact opposites. But we grew up in the same lower-class neighborhood and both work hard to make better lives for ourselves (she is the first in her huge family to graduate from college)... and we are close in intelligence so playing games or having conversations never really gets old. And I would pick her over any of my 'richer' or 'better looking' ex-gf's anyday.
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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 9:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

3) High school sweetheart. (after 8 yrs, I gave in!) She has a college degree, I don't. Neither of us want kids. We enjoy the same things and have the same goals, values and interests which I think is more important than her having a degree.

#1 or #2 would not work for me because I like being married to a technical / business equal. I enjoy having technical discussions with my wife that my buddies can't have with their stay at home wife. It's not that their wifes are stupid, but once you're out of the industry, you get dull. Many people don't need that kind of conversation with their spouse and discussing the kids and non work stuff is fine.

I think Wakebrad has a good synopsis as well.

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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 10:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

3) my wife has a degree and is currently stay at home mom. She will be heading back to the work force after early next year. We want the kiddo to start learning more social skills with other kids. He needs to be around kids his age, not just mom and dad. That is a huge part of day care.

Personally, I don't care what she chooses to do. I make really good money. We live a nice lifestyle. Her going back to work allows us to live a little bit nicer life style.

But - what's missing in all of this is which one keeps having sex with you?? That needs to be up there in the equation. Very Happy Twisted Evil

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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 10:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I used to think that I would only consider a college educated girl as a partner. Now I'm not so sure anymore.


I totally agree. I wouldn't care so much about their formal education, as long as they were intelligent and had drive... drive to do whatever she wants, whether that's color hair, fix cars, raise kids, practice law, heal the sick, whatever.

I think an INTERESTING and INTELLIGENT person is a much better choice than a DULL and LAZY person with an ivy league degree....

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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 11:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

eeven73 wrote:
Quote:
and because anyone that I would be interested in would get bored sitting at home all day.


This is arrogant and ignorant as well.

Stay at home moms are NOT sitting around the house all day.

They are chasing rugrats and facilitating all the activites they are engaged in.


Not sure how knowing what I want is ignorant but I can maybe see arrogant.
I am well aware of what it takes to look after kids all day I have two girls myself, I am just not interested in someone that wants to stay home all day being a stay at home mom. That is my opinion if you have some other opinion feel free to state it. Calling someone out for their opinion makes you the ignorant one.
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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 1:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well looks plays an important role here. If both were like looks I would have to go with option 1. I like women that are driven and ambitious. I always found the house wife type rather bland.
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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 2:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How about just not getting married?
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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 2:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

When looking for a mate, the key is character. I woman of quality character will be a great asset to the family regardless of her decision to work or stay home. A woman of poor character is going to be a burden on the family whether it be inconsistent employment, lazy at home, or fidelity issues.

The problem is that we as humans are creatures of opportunity. Maintaining character in a rough world isn't easy. Those who are genetically blessed know the world will tolerate character flaws from them so they allow them to occur. They take the easy road because society will give them latitude because of their looks. they don't get shunned for poor decision making.

There are a few knockouts that were raised right and have strong character, but they have extremely high standards. The challenge is having the type of character that those gals are looking for.

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PostPosted: Nov 28, 2012 4:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Has the statement "has big juggs" been brought up yet? Laughing
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PostPosted: Nov 29, 2012 6:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Those who are genetically blessed know the world will tolerate character flaws from them so they allow them to occur.


What the FKUCK does that even mean?

wait, wait... so if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife? So from your personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you?

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PostPosted: Nov 29, 2012 7:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Neognosis wrote:
Quote:
Those who are genetically blessed know the world will tolerate character flaws from them so they allow them to occur.


What the FKUCK does that even mean?

wait, wait... so if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife? So from your personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you?




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PostPosted: Nov 29, 2012 7:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Neognosis, I think it's pretty straight forward. Confused
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PostPosted: Nov 29, 2012 7:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Augie... ATTA BOY!


Yea, it's pretty straightforward. Strightforward ridiculous.

Good people are more likely to have less character than ugly people? Good f'ing lord....

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