Farts

[chavez]

Man... my boss' dad just walked in here, and let one rip. He doesn't say anything when he does it, it's just bombs away. Maybe he thinks because he's 79 years old it just doesn't matter.



The HVAC system can't cycle the air fast enough!!!

[Neognosis]

Quick! Stick your head down your own shirt before you lose consciousness!

[Rhawn]

Wife and I were in Lenscrafters, girl waves her Mom over "MOM DO U LIKE THESE GLASSES". Lady wafts by and drags one of the nastiest, middle age woman, trapped in sweaty panty hose farts I've ever had the displeasure of smelling. Its been weeks and I can still smell it.

[jryoung]

Been ripping them this morning as I was out drinking lastnight. The smell is getting baked into my chair at work and it's coming out on time release.

Many I wish I had an HM Aeron chair right now.

[Zach M]

My IT guy (350+lbs easy) doesn't hide it at all. I always know it's coming because I hear the squeak of his chair to lift his ass in the air and let one rip. I sit 4 cubes down and I can hear it clearly. Don't understand how someone could have absolutely no shame about that

[chavez]

jryoung, those are the worst.

Zach M, have several family members that work for the state. They have some pretty disturbing stories about general hygiene at the office. Much worse than that, which is sayin something.



Smell has passed, thankfully!

[ontrider]

In chavez case the key is 79 years old... guy just doesn't give a Bubb Rubb anymore. Possibly the same for 350+ comic book guy. Given up on life, so he's just gonna let er rip.

[GnarShredd]

Old people man. I can't tell if they're even aware anymore or if they just know they can get away with it. I got farted on during Christmas morning by my girlfriend's grandma. Not awesome.

[Okie Boarder]

Dogs, too.

[ScottyB_RochNY]

Heard this verbatim yesterday
"I wake up to you looking so sexy in your suit and tie getting ready for work, then you just rip a huge nasty fart and ruin it all"

[Okie Boarder]

[chavez]

[goofyboy]

my 7 month old fires them off on anyone and anywhere. they are really funny.

[NKCrider]

[Jensen]

This is why I enjoy working in a hospital, nobody thinks twice when smelling something out of the ordinary

[STPHNSN23]

i enjoy this thread.

i hate it when i rip one in my office after lunch, and then one of the girls come back and walk into the wall of french fry fart. that's embarrassing.

[wakeboarderdave1]

Damn turd ghosts.

[Chattwake]

I don't know why, but I don't mind smelling a dog fart as much as I do a person fart. Odd. You know what I hate, when you're at the grocery store and you walk into a cloud of mystery fart. You don't know who laid it, and now you're scared people are going to think it's yours, so you ask yourself, should I act like I was just surprised by a fart cloud, so others will know it's not mine, or should I just ignore it and vacate the area quickly - which only makes you look like you're running from your own fart? Hmmmmmm.

[fish6942]

Fart fan under my desk - FTW!!

[jt09]

we had a client who's front desk admin was probably 60+ and she just ripped loud farts left and right. if we were there for 3 hours, we definitely heard at least 3 or 4 blasts.

i've been drinking protein shakes every morning as a meal replacement and i make them in the blender, so they are just full of air. luckily i have my own office that is rarely visited and they don't smell too bad at all.

now, the night of the holiday bowl, i made a gorgeous ribeye smothered in sauteed shrooms and roasted garlic and washed it down w/ several delicious ipas. watched the game at my buddies house in his theater room and dropped 2 bombs that cleared the room and hung in the air for a solid 10 min each. 2nd one caused his preggers wife to sprint for the bathroom and hurl.

[GnarShredd]

I did fart on an old lady in line at CVS once. Just to get back at them.

[ohsix]

I had a meeting with the CIO of a large public company a couple of years ago. His office stunk like a fart when I walked in and smelled just as bad when I walked out 15 minutes later. I couldn't get out of there quick enough. Sometimes, I wish my office smelled like sh't and I couldn't smell it so people would stay out and I could get work done.

[J-Ro]

We were at a cub scout meeting with about 50 people milling around watching the pinewood derby. Some guy next to my wife looks at her funny, then she looks at our friend who in turn looks at me and her husband. Then I smelled it. It was like a wave that was started by the guy next to the first guy.

My dog's farts are the worst but my 10 year old loves to come sit by you and crop dust before running away laughing.

[Aubs]

[Wakebrad]

I hate when you are wearing headphones at work and let one go, then you don't know whether it was audible or not. You have to glance around the room to see if anyone is giggling or looking over. haha

Chinese Dude that sat next to me a couple years ago would let 3-4 loud ass ones rip a day. He wouldn't even blink. Me and a couple people around would always stare at each other in amazement and bust up laughing.

[Wakebrad]

[chavez]

[finkle]

I don't know what it is about fridays but I had a few nasty ones that even I couldn't stand. I guess thursday night beer and wings with rocko had them marinating for the last 12+ hours. Then like jryoung, the resurfaced when I moved around in my chair. My dog has dropped a few gag inducers today too. Something about friday...

[Okie Boarder]

[jason_ssr]

I was on a crowded elevator going up to the 11th fl from the ground fl. A guy gets off on 2 and before exiting kills one, looks at all of us and straight faced says "enjoy" as he exits and the doors close behind him.

The nastiest thing going on right now is in a branch office in another state. They have a full on freak who graffittis the men's room wall to wall with fecal finger paintings. They guy is a ghost, and nobody knows who it is. So, in the IT lab their is a whiteboard where they have a grid drawn showing all male employees and their time off. Then they cross reference crime dates to exclude suspects. Theyve gotten all CSI trying to narrow down who it could be. Its a secure floor, so its someone with badge access (only traders have access so its not someone migrant dumper from another floor). He performs his art about once a quarter in the middle of the trade day. I feel sorry for the cleaning crew when they get that call.

[Hollywood]

[fish6942]

[Hollywood]

the solution to pollution is dilution

[fish6942]

[chavez]