First Date Story

wkebrd3 · Posted: Jun 16, 2005 4:18 am Post subject: First Date Story

This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We
have all had bad dates...but this takes the cake. This just tells you
how tough it is to be single nowadays. This was on the "Tonight Show" with
Jay Leno. Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first
date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date
experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took
the prize!

She said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold...and the guy had
taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was
a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had
never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until
they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she
gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They
were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of
nowhere!

Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a
point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee
beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and
she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started.
In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest
against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the
side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and
refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she
felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon
finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation.

As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her
buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen
to pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage
her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand
new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware
of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about "what
is taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt
off and in need of some assistance!"

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater
and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.
She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose
themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation
was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take
something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly
realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other
way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize
hands down... or perhaps that should be "pants down." .............And you thought your first date was embarrassing. Jay
Leno's comment . "This gives a whole new meaning to being 'pissed off."

Sharing a smile will brighten someones day!

ballywho · Wakeboarder.Commie Joined: 05 Feb 2005 Posts: 1725

That's classic. Who would have thunk it? I wonder if it's completely true though.
_________________
economic recessions in us history

jvanick · Posted: Jun 16, 2005 4:35 am Post subject:

That's funny as hell...

Hey baby.. I know that you don't know me yet... but can you come and pee on me?
But... Some people actually pay to be pee'd on..

-J

vision135 · Posted: Jun 16, 2005 4:46 am Post subject:

Great Story! Had me laughing out loud.

wkebrd3 · Posted: Jun 16, 2005 4:49 am Post subject:

http://www.snopes.com/love/dating/frozen.asp

8824 · Posted: Jun 16, 2005 6:09 am Post subject:

he could have puked on her a$$ as well to get her off

Dragonlady8 · Black Widow Joined: 27 Aug 2004 Posts: 9198

I have one for you people:

A few years back when I was still living in SoCal, I joined Yahoo online dating as a dare. It wasn't going to cost me anything so what the heck.
Anyhow started talking to this one Guy and things sounded pretty good over the phone.
-works out 4x wk, professional incharge of his department, cooks, nonsmoker, quasi sports buff but loves drinking Chardonnay ( sets off red flag, but just keeping this in back of mind)

So as we talked a few more times in the persuing weeks. the convesaton start getting to be more relaxed and any topic was fair game. He really wanted to meet me but I'm still a little hesitant plus I live 3 hrs away ( he lived in San diego and I lived in Bakersfield)
Some of the things that were said by him were starting to set some questionable characteristics about him,pretty much knows what he wants and is able to get it, " punctured" a womans uterus one time during sex, Chardonnay is pretty much his drink of choice no beer or liquor......
You get the picture......anyhow I was taking an online course @ SDSU and needed to be in San Diego for the weekend to study and take and exam that Monday. So I reluctantly agreed to meet him for a few hours because I need to study and at his insistance to meet at the Boathouse. I wasn't up for dinner, but I agreed.
So here is the synposis of rest of the evening :
- looks nothing like he works out 4x/wk nor does the pic look anything like he looks now. *( no big deal maybe he's a really nice person)
-mock turtle neck, dinner jacket and polyester Shocked

and he smells like listerine and I proceed to ask if he took a shower in the stuff; pulls out a packet of the breathe mints. * ( Strike 1)
- He orders his chardonnay as we wait for dinner. As we're sitting outside over looking the Bay.....he coos "No isn't this romantic?" Rolling Eyes

* ( Nauseating but tolerable)
-Since I'm not interested in eating much, we decide to share his dinner.
States he's very health conscious but orders French fries ( I love this stuff) Rolling Eyes

When the Calamari appetizer arrives, (he's talking about his day golfing) he takes the lemon an squeezes it all over the food without asking me if I minded. I just sit there pretending that I really care about his day as he;s stuffing the calamari in his face and then blurt out " I'm glad you asked me if I wanted Lemon on the Calamari"
"Oh, well there's some ( point his finger around the plate) that doesn't have any on it" was his reply * ( Strike 2)
- Dinner is alright, except that he keeps trying to romanticize the situation *( at this point I'm just trying to be nice)
After an hour and half of this I tell him " I really need to get back to my studying. So we were walking out of the restuarant, we walk towards the bay to look over at the ships docked at NAS Coronado.
This is where he tries to make his moves.....I just give him a peck on the cheek and thank him for the evening. He's got his arms around my waist and put one of his hands down my back pocket.......
H - " You're kinda skinny"
DL- "No- I'm just right for my age"
H- " Don't you like showing public affection? I do, I like showing the world I like someone."
DL- " Affection is appropriate for little kids in public and giving a quick kiss and hug. Adults making out is not something to be done in a Public forum.
H- "Stick your tongue in my mouth"
DL- " What"
H- "Stick your tongue in my mouth. I want to suck on it" *( Strike 3!!!)
DL- " I don't think so and it's time for me to leave"
H- " You sure you don't want to come over to my place?"
DL- " I'm positive that I don't and I need to study for my Midterm"
So as we're walking to my car he throws some breathe mints in his mouth and no I didn't give him a lip locking kiss....Just a hug and a "nice to have met you " good bye.

Never again will I attempt an online match ....... Shocked

So his name is Chardonnay PussBoy......."real" men only drink white wine when they are out of Red Laughing

Leggester · Posted: Jun 16, 2005 1:55 pm Post subject:

Hehehe, so, you sure you won't give me a try?

I promise I can to better than that! Laughing

lcap · Ladies Man Joined: 13 Nov 2003 Posts: 10973 City: Homeless

Dragonlady8,

Little picky are you? Sounds like that guy was pretty smooth. And what is the "Online Match" thing. Shocked

With your attitude I thought guys would be trying to smash down your door.

churchy · Posted: Jun 16, 2005 2:34 pm Post subject:

Leggester, beat me to it.

Dragonlady8 · Black Widow Joined: 27 Aug 2004 Posts: 9198

lcap · Ladies Man Joined: 13 Nov 2003 Posts: 10973 City: Homeless

Dragonlady8

abovethewake · Addict Joined: 25 Dec 2004 Posts: 583 City: sarasota

had to ruin it huh wkebrd3 Laughing

Dragonlady8 · Black Widow Joined: 27 Aug 2004 Posts: 9198

Sorry lcap but in my book those are shared duties. My man HAS to have a job and make close to what I make if not more. Wink

lcap · Ladies Man Joined: 13 Nov 2003 Posts: 10973 City: Homeless

Dragonlady8

Rats! Looks like I'm still pulling out empty pockets and kicking dirt......

Jim M · Wakeboarder.com Freak Joined: 17 Jan 2003 Posts: 2933

I dont think Ive ever seen a guy drink white wine, even from a cardboard box into a daisy cup. Thats pretty rough Laughing

wkebrd3 · Posted: Jun 17, 2005 4:46 am Post subject:

abovethewake, if I didn't, you know someone else would have.

Stephan · Guest

http://www.jokaroo.com/funnyvideos/kellypiss.html

"I wanna piss on you...yes i do"