Why did the chicken cross the road?

[Brad Embleton]

GEORGE W. BUSH - We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL - Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANZ BLIX - We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador) - The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.

SADDAM HUSSEIN - This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it

RALPH NADER - The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN - To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

MARTHA STEWART - No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL - Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the other side. That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination
that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side.

DR. SEUSS -
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY - To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. - I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

BARBARA WALTERS - Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON - Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE - It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

RONALD REAGAN - What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK - To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER - You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

SIGMUND FREUD - The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES - I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN - Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON - I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

COLONEL SANDERS - I missed one?

[Leggester]

KEKE - because I was chasing it with a roll of duct tape.

[pedro]

To get away from leggester the Chicken F***er.

[tomoppelt]

Because he wanted to get out of lousy canada---go bruins

[Leggester]

Chickens are OK, but I prefer Squirrels.

Many folks dislike the United States very much. I'll wait until another country steps up and finances the world as much as we do.

[ohsix]

i like that last statement legge. you should use that as your sig.

[Leggester]

Maybe I'm just a bit grouchy today Wes. Still getting up at 4:30 these days.

[B-rad]

That's good stuff.... I have seen it before during something else, can't remember the topic though.

[Dees]

Dees- The chicken crossed the road because it heard i wanted to shave it, im lazy and theres more chickens on my side of the road.