I wasn't wrong after all......

[Dragonlady8]

And to think I was the only one to have this mindset back in the days. I see it's caught on:


Busy girls find an alternative to intercourse
By Laura Sessions Stepp
The Washington Post

March 6, 2003

WASHINGTON -- By today's standards, the suburban high school girl was a slow starter when it came to sex, having reached ninth grade before she kissed a guy. She just couldn't see how to fit a boy into heavy loads of honors homework, soccer matches and baby-sitting.

By 11th grade, she'd found the answer: "buddysex," or sexual encounters with friends, in this case a half-dozen private-school boys, no strings attached. At parties mostly, and on the weekends. In closets and bathrooms, parents' bedrooms and friends' parents' bedrooms.

These arrangements didn't include intercourse, she says, but did include mutual oral sex in some cases, "by the second or third time."

This girl might once have been shunned, but no longer. For one thing, adolescents no longer see oral sex as sex. For another, sexual liberation of the late 1960s shattered the rules and rituals of romance for women in their 20s. It was just a matter of time before their younger sisters embraced the same freedoms.

"I know so many girls like this one," says Julia Kay, who attends Brown University.

The girl hookup culture is known in some circles as Ally McBeal feminism. Girls say the gist of it is this: Many girls don't have the time or energy required for an intense relationship right now, or they can't find a guy who wants one. But they possess enormous sexual energy and believe they have every right to enjoy it in whatever form they choose, just as the Fox network's lusty lawyer did.

They don't hook up with just anyone; usually, it's with someone they know at least casually.

Girls haven't become more promiscuous, in the old-fashioned meaning of that word. As the incidence of oral sex has increased, the proportion of high school girls engaging in intercourse has declined from 51 percent in 1991 to 43 percent in 2001, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Also, even as they seek the same sexual rush that guys historically have enjoyed, young women confess to dreaming about the romance of the old-fashioned pursuit: being wooed by leisurely strolls and candlelight dinners.

Could this explain the large amounts of alcohol some girls say they consume to make hooking up more palatable? So much has changed, so fast, as gender rules have collapsed.

Hooking up has its advantages. It's cheaper than dating, and it's intentionally vague. "You can make it clear you did something but protect your reputation," explains Brown's Kay.

And it requires no commitment of time or emotion -- at least that's what is assumed. It seems the perfect entertainment for young women planning to graduate cum laude and take up medicine or law.

They know their parents expect nothing less than academic and professional stardom. As one college freshman notes wryly, "We're not looking to get married when we're 21 and graduate."

In preliminary data from a Kaiser Family Foundation study, one-third of 15- to 17-year-olds, and two-thirds of 18- to 24-year-olds, said they'd had oral sex. Proportionately more whites reported it than other race or ethnic groups.

No one uses a condom during oral sex, girls say. "That would be considered absurd," says one. Although this generation has had more sex education than any previous one, a sizable number aren't aware that disease can be transmitted by mouth and that condoms reduce that risk.

The hookup culture makes it more difficult to claim or prove rape. It also leads to confusion and injured feelings, which girls talk about a lot among themselves.

And plenty of girls hook up hoping for a relationship, and that's when they get hurt, says Peggy Giordano, a researcher at Bowling Green State University in Ohio. Women have always shouldered the emotional burden of sexual behavior -- after all, they're the ones who must carry the baby, or decide to abort -- and to pretend they can ignore their emotions easily is poppycock.

Copyright © 2003, Orlando Sentinel

[B-rad]

I just sent that out to a few friends I thought would enjoy it and to one that I think directly can relate to it...

[FRANKIE]

big sis.
WOW... i've never felt so sexually anorexic as i do now after reading that!!

[JHrod]

sexually anorexic---hm......thats an interesting term for being a v-child

[FRANKIE]

anorexia = deprivation

[B-rad]

you have to admit that it IS a funny term though. Especially out of all the possibillites that you could have come up with.

[JHrod]

i know what u meant i was just commenting on what an odd word association it was---i perfer sexually starved though because it sounds less like a sickness

[Syth]

I always used sexually frustrated, cause its *^$%! frustrating not getting any sex!