Funny Romance Poetry

Ryan W · Posted: Feb 03, 2003 7:52 pm Post subject: Funny Romance Poetry

These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most
romantic first line but least romantic second line.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
but I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty
and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming.

My love you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way.

My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell".

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Chales · Guest

hahaha, finally something new and original

Rocko · Posted: Feb 03, 2003 8:08 pm Post subject:

very original indeed. now to only remeber that one to break out the bar.

K-dub · Ladies Man Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 14760

...TOO FUNNY! Laughing

criminally_minded · Posted: Feb 04, 2003 2:00 am Post subject:

Here's one I wrote about a friend and his romance with a jellyfish. Very Happy

In lust you frolic
with a deep sea mollusk,
you rub its stingers
on your bollocks.

its unisex form
gets you hard and warm,
you thrust on camera
making aquatic porn.

You take out the lube,
break open the case,
you love it when your jellyfish
sits on your face.

You put your friend in the blender,
wizz it up fast,
put it in an enema bag
and shoot it up your arse.

The pleasure is great,
but there's just one thing:
You inserted too hard,
now you have a blue-ring!

Gee I was mature in college!

franknbeans · Soul Rider Joined: 29 Jan 2003 Posts: 272 City: Ft. Worth

best thread ever!

criminally_minded · Posted: Feb 04, 2003 6:21 pm Post subject:

Its criminal that this thread doesn't have more views! It may have something to do with the slightly misleading heading..... Very Happy

JHrod · Wakeboarder.com Freak Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 3144

i think ur right---no one knows it contains funny stuff Rolling Eyes

K.A · Soul Rider Joined: 13 Jan 2003 Posts: 252 City: Florida

omg criminally_minded...that is the funniest thing ever! hahahahah!

Ryan W · Posted: Feb 05, 2003 9:43 am Post subject:

Ill change it.

Grouch · Posted: Feb 05, 2003 10:20 am Post subject:

One you would read on the bathroom wall:

Here I sit,
Broken hearted,

Trying to stuff,
But only farted

Grouch · Posted: Feb 05, 2003 10:50 am Post subject:

Marsha completed four weeks of dental restoration with Dr. Morris Cohen the dentist. She confided to her best friend that she had fallen in love with her dentist... and she was going to propose to him.

Her friend said, "Marsha you're 34 years old, you're beautiful, you have dozens of men who adore you. Why this dentist?"

"Because he is the first man that ever told me to SPIT instead of SWALLOW."

WakeRyd · Outlaw Joined: 14 Jan 2003 Posts: 180 City: Richmond, VA

about time for a funny thread