Stella Awards 2002

[criminally_minded]

This is a little old, and I have no idea if these lawsuits are authenic or not, but it's quite funny anyway!


Only in America !!!!

It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella awards. The Stella's are named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued Macdonald's . That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States. Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating Macdonald's, the teens who allege that eating at Macdonald's has made them fat, was filed after the 2002 award voting was closed. This suit will top the 2003 awards list without question.

5th place (Tied).
Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms Robertson's son.

5th place (Tied).
19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

5th place (Tied).
Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family were on vacation and Mr Dickson found himself locked in the garage foot 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the house owner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000

4th place.
Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbours Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owners fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the might have been a little provoked at the time as Mr Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd place.
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd place.
Kara Walton of Claymont Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in a neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms.Walton was trying to sneak out of the window in the Ladies Room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place.
This year's runaway winner was Mr Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City Oklahoma.Mr Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor Home. On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the Freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the RV left the Freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him that in the owner's manual that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor Home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there was any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.

[pooser]

holy $#!+. what the hell was the jury thinking.

[ballsagna]

the one with the kid is the funniest, i should try that.

[BillJ]

According to Snopes.com (where they discuss Urban Legends) all of the cases listed are fabricated. If you search the Internet for "Merv Grazinski" for instance, all you'll get is references to the Stella Awards. Unfortunately they *could* be true based on some of the stupid lawsuits that people have filed (like the guy that tried to sue McDonalds, Buger King, etc. for making him fat).

http://www.snopes.com/legal/lawsuits.htm

[criminally_minded]

Yeah, I had my suspicions, which is what I said at the top, but they are still pretty funny.

The garage one is the most unbelievable. A home insurance firm would have an army of lawyers with which to fight that bullsh#t.