Need some advice on hadling a situation

B-rad

OK, my best friend emailed me with this:
"I love you. And not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. And it's not because you're unattainable. I love you. Very simple, very truly. You're the epitome of every attribute and quality I've ever looked for in another person. I know you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you'd ever consider. But I had to say it. "

It's from the movie "Chassing Amy"- How do I/ should I respond to this? We have been closer than friends, but we never hook up. She and I just always have that vibe going without ever following through with anything. She's also bipolar and I swear she has about 4 personalities, so I'm kind of at a loss here. Any sugestions, it took me by complete suprise?

bordinaustin · Outlaw Joined: 13 Jan 2003 Posts: 147 City: Austin

What does she look like?

K-dub · Ladies Man Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 14760

sounds like you have your hands full there, bro!
How long have you been friends? And, how would you feel if it did'nt work out, and you guys were'nt friends anymore??
Sometimes a longtime friend will make a great lover, but other times it will work out for the worst.....If she truly is Bi-polar, i'd feel eggy on that too.....
sounds like you have some things to think about to me....

buckthis · Posted: Apr 15, 2003 10:28 am Post subject:

b-rad, hook up with her, let her serve your needs, but realize you will only have her for one personality and when the other personalities surface tell hert to get lost, don't get attached!l

DockSecret · Addict Joined: 14 Mar 2003 Posts: 756 City: Austin, TX

Whoa, danger territory here.. Umm...it all depends how you feel about her man, and if you actually like her, I guess follow up but go at it a bit slowly and carefully bro.

B-rad · Posted: Apr 15, 2003 10:32 am Post subject:

This is from the past Christmas party from my work-

B-rad · Posted: Apr 15, 2003 10:36 am Post subject:

I have known her for about a year and we were introduced by a good friend of mine that has known her for about 4 years. We got really close fast and have a lot in common, about the only issue is sometimes I can't understand her. She is cool chick, but I'm not sure if the dating/ getting together thing would work out. It would also suck if when it ended we were not friends. I'm close to her family as well and losing both of those would make it almost not worth it.

jt09 · Ladies Man Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 22083 City: Austin

Don't do it. Negatives outweigh the positives.

franknbeans · Soul Rider Joined: 29 Jan 2003 Posts: 272 City: Ft. Worth

I swear that every chick has at least 3 personalities, so what's wrong with a 4th??

Smile

Go for it!

atxwake · Posted: Apr 15, 2003 10:49 am Post subject:

Yeah, if the negatives out weight the positives it's a no go. Even if she is super hot, it may not be worth it in the long run.

By the way, whats up the Renae chick? What the hell is wrong with her?

bordinaustin · Outlaw Joined: 13 Jan 2003 Posts: 147 City: Austin

sounds like you kinda just answered the question. Just keep her as a friend, I had the same thing happen to a girl that I was BEST friends with and it went to stuff. Now we talk about once every 6 months or more.

K-dub · Ladies Man Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 14760

I think he is talking about Renae, atxwake.....he just wants us to think this is about someone else. Laughing

B-rad · Posted: Apr 15, 2003 11:26 am Post subject:

Naw Kyle, Nae Nae and I are jsut friends. Like I said, I don't date people that I work with. Not only do I work with her, but she is also on my team as well for McAfee. Renae is a bad ass chick and she would make a great grilfriend to some guy. Lani is my best friend and that's who I got the email from. F'ing chicks, they make things so damn complicated all the time. I think I'll just be blunt with Lani and say" So, um do you want to hook up or no? I think that we should talk about it before hand if you do and then we'll make the call.

Jen · Outlaw Joined: 19 Feb 2003 Posts: 169 City: McQueeney, TX

don't do it man!!! just stay friends

atxwake · Posted: Apr 15, 2003 11:31 am Post subject:

Is that the same picture though? I cant tell, here's the other pic he posted of her...

You guys make the call-

jt09 · Ladies Man Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 22083 City: Austin

You could always see if she is cool with just providing oral pleasure on an irregular basis... That way you never really have "sex" although you may have to skew your personal philosophy more towards "Clintonian" than you would like.

NAW · Posted: Apr 15, 2003 11:32 am Post subject:

I thought all women were bi-polar Confused

atxwake · Posted: Apr 15, 2003 11:32 am Post subject:

B-Rad, my advice, quit your job and hook up with Renae!

K-dub · Ladies Man Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 14760

I still think we are talking about the same chick here....... Confused

Rocko · Posted: Apr 15, 2003 11:47 am Post subject:

i think so too, kyle.

B-rad · Posted: Apr 15, 2003 11:54 am Post subject:

I just showed Nae Nae the pics side by side, she laughed. They do kind of resemble each other in the pics. Though.

ohsix · Posted: Apr 15, 2003 2:23 pm Post subject:

Dude hook up with her. When she changes personalities it would be like gettin with a different girl. It would kinda be like gettin with 4 different chicks but only puttin up with one's sh*t. jk man.

I dont understand chicks that well but i've kinda been in the same situation except the girl wasnt bi-polar. I got with her and as it turns out i think she was in the friendship to be more than friends all along. I told her it wouldn't work and we still talk every once in a while and I guess we're still friends. So maybe this chick has been lookin to be more than friends all along.

Ralph · Posted: Apr 15, 2003 2:44 pm Post subject:

Danger Will Robinson, Danger! Don't do it, will end in tears and possibly death threats fo sure.

earlcombearl · Posted: Apr 15, 2003 2:58 pm Post subject:

Hook up bro, just lay you cards on the table and tell her that you want to try it. Assuming that is what you want to do. Make sure you are both clear up front that you want to remain friends and tell her you are ready to try that next step. As long as you have a mutual understanding then I would think that you too are less likely to not remain friends assuming it doesn't work out.

Craiggy · Criminal Joined: 13 Jan 2003 Posts: 65 City: Canada

I think it all depends on how ur friendship has been, if it's flirty or striclty friends

How would a girl ask her guy friend to go out so he wouldn't freak out?

Nor*Cal · Ladies Man Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 9479 City: Sac

You have to put a lot on the table to actually have it pay off big. She obviously has feelings for you, you get along great, and the family is on your side. If you focus on it not working out then you've already decided that it is not going to happen. However since you've already made it past the hard parts of most relationships there might be something worth exploring.

Dragonlady8 · Guest

the only issue is sometimes I can't understand her.

Well, what is it that you can't understand?
Don't you know you're not suppose to understand us chicks Laughing

You really think that being in a relationship with her is going to help you understand her better?
Just step back and look into the glasshouse.
Be honest with yourself and don't think with a " I can help her" mentality/attitude.
Just like some chicks I know who think that they can "change" a guy. It's only gonna cause heartache and grief.
Good luck.

loongoon · Newbie Joined: 13 Apr 2003 Posts: 25 City: HAHAHAHAHA

if that was a line from a movie, i think thats what u said, then just respond with what the actor does following that line, always works like a charm Very Happy

criminally_minded · Posted: Apr 15, 2003 11:32 pm Post subject:

That HAS to be the same chick!

Nor*Cal · Ladies Man Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 9479 City: Sac

The nose and chin look different... I could be wrong though.

J_DOGG · Posted: Apr 16, 2003 3:41 am Post subject:

You can have sex with any HO.

Good friends are hard to come by, don't blow it....

PEACE

B-rad · Posted: Apr 16, 2003 6:34 am Post subject:

People.... They are not the same chick, I wish I had a photo of both of them standing by me. I think in the pictures they look similar, but you can tell the differences. I think I'm not going to purse anything more than friends with Lani. Things would be too weird and in the long run if things don't work out then I would have lost a friend.

jt09 · Ladies Man Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 22083 City: Austin

Good call B-rad.

Aubs · Motorboat Queen Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 9167

they're not the same chick. their hair is different lengths, like norcal sayd, their chins and noses are different, their eyes are different too

Sean OBrien · Outlaw Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 165 City: Orlando, FL

There might be a problem with just being friends. You know how she feels about you and because of that the way you act towards each other will probably change. It is likely that you will feel a little bit awkward around each other. No matter what, you are either going to take a step forward in your relationship or a step back.

Maybe things will be different for you, but this is what I have seen happen in situations similar to this.

Good luck figuring out what to do.

Sean O'Brien